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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I read a question earlier about the nervousness of the girl over the pain she has to face when losing virginity. Sometimes, it gets so nervous that she would constrict herself so that nothing can enter inside her. Now this are the reflexes of a girl. I am an empathetic person and feel the emotions of others at times. And this very thing has stopped me from having sex with any girl who is a virgin. For i feel that she is not really willing to let me enter her when she kind of stretches herself in. And though she would have shown enough ineterest in me earlier, this final moments and her behavior has turned me off in past. As a guy, all i would need is reassurance from the girl that she understand it is going to be painful for her, but she wants to do it with me and trusts me for that. Haven't really been able to find such a girl yet and all the pressure mounts on to me during the act and prevents me doing it altogether. Any advice would be useful on this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Granny +, writes (5 May 2007):
 Losing virginity does not have to be painful. This is a myth. If your girlfriend is in love and /or sexually excited, she will be happy with your attentions. If she is "dry" and nervous, she is not ready for sex and you are wise to leave her alone. Please do not feel that all the pressure is on you. The decision to have sex should and must belong to both of you, and if the time and place are right, all should be well. Wait til your GF says she is ready.
A
male
reader, Thomas17  +, writes (5 May 2007):
 if a girl is scared to lose her virginity, you can be sure she won't get married any time soon. to me, if you arent going to lose your virginity to have children its really a shame. people are built in such a way that they are MEANT to reproduce.there is always a price to pay for everything, nothing is free.
i dont know why some girls dont want to lose virginity because of the pain. well, if they are still afraid, they will be stuck being a virgin for the rest of their lives, just because they are afraid of a little pain.
this is from a male's point of view, any females?
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