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Are you supposed to feel sad about a breakup you caused?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 July 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year amd 3 months today basically because he just wasn't the one. I know, its not like I'm looking for someone to marry at my age but although he was great and nothing was wrong with him, he just wasn't for me so I no longer wanted to waste his time. Anyways, I can't stop cring about it. Thinking about it makes me so sad but I know I made the right choice. So why do I feel so upset by it?

View related questions: a break, broke up

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks so much everyone I feel better now :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010):

Just because he wasn't 'the one' doesn't mean you're not going to be upset from the break up. You spent over a year with this boy, so obviously you spent some time with him.

Like you say, he was great and their was nothing wrong with him so you're still going to feel for him. Or maybe you feel a little bad, (people tend to when they're the one doing the dumping).

You may be upset partly because there's now going to be a change in your life. He was apart of your life, now he is not. Don't think it's weird to be feeling the way you are, it's completely normal.

The people who aren't upset from break ups are the ones who were in terrible relationships. You on the other hand weren't, you just decided you wanted to move on and try something new.

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A female reader, Duckyhelp United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2010):

Duckyhelp agony auntYou are upset and crying because obviously your now ex boyrfriend reacted badly to you breaking up with him, and you feel guilty. You will have to know your relationship with him wont be the same again, and have to get on with living. The guilt you feel will leave shortly. Dont worry :)

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2010):

He may not be 'the one', but he was still a guy you no doubt liked and cared for. That's why you're upset. You did make the right decision for yourself, now you just need to spend time on yourself with friends and such, and you'll be just fine. You made a good, mature decision. You'll feel bad for a while because you did care for him. But this feeling will go away, and you'll then see everything you've done was right.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010):

you feel upset because you still feel for him, it is very normal, i felt like that too when i broke up with my gf (but i didnt cry). All you can do is to let it GO! Engage yourself in other activities and dont think about him, try to visualize as if he never existed in your life there will be a certain point in the future when you will get over him. dont give up trying... Time will heal eveything!

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