A
female
age
51-59,
*lskitten
writes:Are you single and stuck in your ways?It seems these days that most people only feel complete if they are in a relationship. I will admit I used to feel the same way. And went from one relationship to the other, quite quickly. I have been single now for a couple of years, and will even go so far as to say I cant imagine getting with anyone now!Worries me slightly because even though I am happy this way, I wouldn't like to think I will grow old on my own??? Or rather it worries me I will want to grow old on my own!Is there any other singletons out there that are genuinely happy that way? Or were, and are now settled with someone?I just cant imagine it.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 October 2009):
hlskitten is verified as being by the original poster of the question Some brilliant replies, thanks folks. I am totally getting the not wanting the hassle thing. I too find the whole relationship thing really exausting. The last guy was ok, but I struggled to share my attention between him and 2 young teens. And my kids come first at the end of the day.
I rarely come on here these days, but when I do, I see all these stressed out people that are having a hard time, and sometimes I can relate to them as ive been there, beating myself up about how much attention i'm giving them, or not giving them, and then I like being single even more! lol
I think I do wonder if I am that selfish that I like my own company, I never get bored. When the kids go to their dads every other weekend I watch dvd's and ive got my dog and cat! But thats not really selfish is it? Maybe it is, and thats ok anyway??
Has been nice to hear from like minded single people and attached people too, thanks for that.
Who knows what the future brings ey, and as anon said, it could change.
But at the moment i'm actually hoping it doesn't!
If that makes sense!
Thanks again x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): Oh, i love the single life ! No arguements, no jealousy or insecurity, loads of time to myself, i like my own company sometimes and i'm not even interested in sex !. At least not at the moment. I'd rather just have a mixture of male and female friends. I'd never want to get married, as it would be too painful getting divorced, if that happened, and it would be a long, difficult process. My parents got divorced too, so i think that has something to do with it.Also, it's only natural to feel attracted to other people, which you could feel guilty about if you're married, and you could even feel guilty about that if you just have a boyfriend/girlfriend, and, at the moment anyway, i couldnt imagine being with only one person for the rest of my life !. It's also hurtful if you are attracted to someone who is with someone else, which i am at the moment actually. I don't think it would be wrong if someone went with another person if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend though, heck, some people are even in open relationships, as it's not the same as being married, where you are legally tied to someone.Although, in either case, i think you should be honest about it though.That's just my point of view anyway. But i do think it's wrong for someone to cheat on their husband/wife.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (4 October 2009):
 I'm single and I enjoy it. I'm happier than I've been in years. No crazy relationship drama, no hanging out with relatives I can't stand, and I always have time for my friends. I love my own company and doing whatever I want. It's cool!
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 Hey, whatever floats your boat I say!
I am not single. I am actually very happily married, but some people like being single and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Life is short and you should strive for the things that make you happy.
Everyone is an Island and can be an island. We dont need to validate ourself through a significant other.
HonningKanin
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (3 October 2009):
hlskitten is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes that makes sense. I didn't put in that I have children too, as it would of lengthened the post even more! But mine are early teens and I just feel at the moment that I want to concentrate on them for the next few years.
I work part time too. I just dont feel like I have the energy for anything else at the moment.
Just wondered if anyone else felt the same. As sometimes you end up wondering if you are a bit weird being contect as a single person, as other women seem to be able to fit blokes into their lives whilst bringing up children?
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A
female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (3 October 2009):
Yeah, pretty much I'm set in my ways and most of the time I'm pretty happy. My downers are usually caused by relationships (or attempts at them)
Best stay single I say!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): This is a very interesting question. I am single since my divorce 4 years ago. To begin with all I wanted was to get into a relationship and I saw couples everywhere. I have been going out with 2 guys on and off for a year now but in all honesty I prefer being single. I too have a child and bringing one of them full time into my life would upset and disturb my child. Also I can see certain things emerging in them that I truly hated doing for my husband such as constant station runs, ironing, eating late at night, dry cleaning the list is endless!. I don't have the inclination to put much effort into a relationship and I have found men or indeed relationships as a whole need a lot of attention and it is too tiring. I relish my time alone with my child. Deep down I don't think I am suited to being part of a loving couple as I can't be bothered to make an effort with their friends or family either. I like being alone pottering in the garden with my animals, reading etc and I know I won't miss a man even when I get older I would only be using them for fear of being alone in my old age which would not be fair.
Even with my view I think that at 36 - 40 you are a little young to enjoy being single and I think it is highly likely that even though you are not interested at the moment someone will come along and sweep you off your feet in the not to distant future.
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A
female
reader, samurai girl +, writes (3 October 2009):
 GIRL! I am EXACTLY this way! Found a great guy, but...I am stuck in my ways and really like going back to my own house and doing my own thing.
I used to be a serial monogamist. This guy wants to get married, and initially I did too. Now, I think I'm having a hard time seeing myself w/ him forever -- or anybody else for that matter.
I just don't have a fear of being alone and I don't get lonely; I like my own company.
Good for us, I guess. Cheers!
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