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Are women satisfied with average size penis or do they fantasize about bigger penises?

Tagged as: Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2010) 14 Answers - (Newest, 22 September 2010)
A male France age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hello everybody, thanks for the time i would spend in order to answer my question :D

mu question is mostly for women who are married to men with average penis size, i just wanna know are the women in this situation really satisfied with their husbands or are they maybe thinking or having fantasies about bigger penises ?

i know that lots of people might say size does not matter as long as you know how to do with it, but i need some real advice from real people in this situation :D thnx in advance

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010):

Plexi raises a VERY good point. We tend to fantasize more about what's going on than just body parts. I usually put more thought about the setting, and also how he touches me, when, what he says, where he touches me, he usually gives me awesome kisses on my neck... etc, etc... body parts? Not so important.

Have you watched porn for women? The ones with storylines and all that? Well, notice how many "penetration shots" there are. See my point? It's not so much about a guy's proportions, it's mostly about what he does and how. We all love passionate, yet tender sex and sexual touch (because no matter how much the actress in your favorite porn seems to be enjoying being pounded hardcore, our hot spots are really sensitive and too much pressure or rough movements HURT).

Nevertheless, we like passion. Passion has nothing to do with body parts, it's all about attitude. Which is a bit more complex than being born with a certain size. Attitude is fixable, but many people seem to ignore this, when it's key!

Oh, and yeah, we also usually tend to fantasize about our partner. It doesn't matter if Fabio is in the cover of our romance novels (ew, Fabio), we fantasize about our partner like 99% of the time. It doesn't matter if the guy in our porn for women video is a total hunk, if we're in a relationship, we're probably thinking we'd love to be doing whatever we're doing, with our boyfriend or husband.

And that's worrysome for you guys... because an unsatisfied woman is probably not thinking "Why doesn't Joe look like that?" or "Why doesn't Joe have a big penis?". It goes more along the lines of "Why can't Joe touch me that way when we're having sex? Why can't Joe be a bit more romantic?". Which is fixable.

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (22 September 2010):

natasia agony auntReally honestly and truly i only fantasise about my partner, and for me, his is the only body in the world.

Women are probably more loyal than you realise : )

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A female reader, Plexi United Kingdom +, writes (21 September 2010):

Plexi agony auntSize doesn't matter as much as how you use it....

I never fantasize about a man's penis.....I fantasize about how he'll treat me, how he'll make me feel, how attentive he is, how much he's into me and not just interested in the actual act. Average size is just fine, perfect, more then perfect if you know how to use it and you hands and your mouth:)

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A female reader, beautiful life United States +, writes (21 September 2010):

I can honestly say that I am completely satisfied with the average penis. I don't enjoy sex when the penis is too big.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010):

Ok, I'm a 22 years old girl, here's my take:

Yes, sometimes we fantasize out of curiosity. I mean, I have never been with a guy with a HUGE penis, and sometimes I've wondered what it feels like. But that's it. Thinking about it, I don't think it makes much of a difference, and I think it probably even hurts (I mean, the vagina might be flexible and all, but not THAT much). I've been with average guys who HAVE been able to hurt me, imagine a huge guy, OUCH! (Sorry, huge guys).

The vagina only has like 3 inches that are really sensitive, the rest isn't (and thank god, or else childbirth and pap smears would be HELL!). These three inches are at the entrance. So it's not like you have to be looong to reach them, not at all.

Then there's the fact that a lot of women can only orgasm via clitoral stimulation. Penetration isn't very necessary for us to reach orgasm (although it feels good nonetheless, even if we don't orgasm, an with any sized penis). Good thing penetration is not necessary for us to get off, or else what would lesbians do?

Just like men have different sized penises, women have different sized vaginas. Hopefully, your wife has a vagina that fits your penis well.

And finally!!!! Despite guys thinking bigger is better, it's not! I mean, I love giving BJs, love it, love it, love it! And well, fact is the bigger the penis the more uncomfortable it is for me and the harder it is to do certain things. Most guys I know love having a girl put the whole penis inside her mouth, I hear it feels really good, and again, the bigger the penis, the harder it is to do this. And for women like myself, there's no bigger turn on than giving a guy maximum pleasure. So yeah, I'll stick to average guys, their size is perfect for all things sexual.

To summarize, no, size is not a big deal! Even if we might get an idea a few times, it's the same as guys fantasizing about being with a girl with big/small boobs, or with a bubble or flat butt, with an Asian, an African American, a Latina, a blonde, a redhead... it's all a fantasy about something different, it doesn't mean she's dissatisfied or anything.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 September 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntIt would seem that the only ones preoccupied with size is us guys. I know I obsese over it 'cause it's only logical that the bigger it is the more pleaure you can impart to your lover. However, whenever the subject comes up(pardon the pun) the females jump up and down in denial. Either it's true or they're trying to kill the subject. I think it's the later since the denial is so loud. Me thinks thou doth protest too loudly my friends. It could also be they're just in denial and actually do long for the larger size but don't want us "normal" guys to feel so bad. Who knows?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (21 September 2010):

chigirl agony auntWe are satisfied with average penises. If we were to fantasize it would be because the sex is in general bad, but that has nothing to do with the penis size.

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A female reader, misfitschik66 Canada +, writes (21 September 2010):

misfitschik66 agony auntnope nope nope! i would rather prefer an average sized penis i see porn videos were girls are taking huge penises and i just cringe

I'm sorry but im sure it would hurt like heck!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010):

You are worrying over nothing. Tisha nailed it. Women like porn where there is an air of excitement because of the seductive powers that are going on in the video...not because a 10" dong is going up their ass.

If anything, women married to average guys are fantasizing about a passion filled trip to Tahiti or something...with his average cock. An extra inch or 2...meaningless. Remebering your anniversary with flowers and a romantic evening alone with a passion-filled role play or some erotic toys or lingere...priceless. I'll tell you something...with my ex, the difference between her not having an orgasm and having a mind blowing one, was a massage. Yes, a massage. That would get her so relaxed and in the mood, it made everything fall into place. The size of my cock had nothing to do with it, even though I'm fine down there, and physically speaking, plenty to get the job done on its own.

Now, do most women think about what it's like to be with a bigger guy?...yes, probably. But once they commit to loving you, size is no where near as much of a criteria...if it ever was at all. And how many guys think the same thing about boob size? A lot. Not a requirement in a partner tho, and it may not even make a difference. And how many women who experience a huge penis really love it...not a whole lot from what I know. Some do, but most don't like the pain or discomfort. Now on the other hand, most guys who experience big boobs really enjoy the experience. And how many guys REQUIRE big boobs after that experience...very few. So you see where I'm going with this? People like variety. They like to explore sexuality. But once they settle on a partner, they love that person. Size, weight, cellulite, pimples, moles, whatever, are all part of the equation when you accept and LOVE someone as they are.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010):

It depends on the woman. Anyway, who knows what goes on in a person's head. I'm married, but maybe I fantasize about women who are 4 ft. 1" tall, have one leg, and a face that is completely tattooed in green ink made to look like snake scales. Maybe that's my ultimate woman and yet my wife and I have been married almost 20 years.

Even though she may not meet my "size" requirement, I still want to be with her. So, in the end, does any of this really matter once you've made a commitment to each other?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (21 September 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt Average is just fine. Not necessarily bigger is better. In fact, an XXL penis may decrease your enjoyment,not increase it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntWomen fantasize about just about anything. The size is really the least of it, specially if you know how to put what you got to the best of use.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (21 September 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntNo fantasies about larger penises. We women don't tend to focus on body parts. It's more about the entire man, and how he makes us feel all over and in our heads.

Now, Brad Pitt pre-beard... well. Maybe a few teeny fantasies.

The penis size worry is really such a guy thing. If this woman has married you, she likes your penis too, okay? You are chipping away at your own self-esteem and making yourself crazy for no good reason.

If you want it to look bigger, lose the subcutaneous fat in your lower pelvis and shave the base. That will make it appear larger. But honestly, we don't look at penises and lust. If we did, there would be a huge market for magazines of naked men for women, and there isn't. Naked men magazines tend to be for other men. Men are the visual ones, for the most part. Men are the ones who are concerned with penis size. Women's porn or erotica is focused on the experience, on the story, on the feelings, generally. You would be doing yourself a favor to try to see that and try to remove those male goggles from your face and the masculine orientation from your thinking as you try to understand women.

Your wife is more likely to be fantasizing about the guy with the handsome face and six-pack abs and gorgeous masculine hands than a penis. Really.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (21 September 2010):

I would imagine that women fantasize about a man who knows how to use his penis properly to give her pleasure than about size.

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