A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Over the last few years I feel people around me have become increasingly disrespectful as I've come closer to fifty . My husband stares at younger women , my adult children are rude to me and in general I find shop assistants and people in general are dismissive of me . This was NEVER a problem for me in the past . I'm no wall flower but neither am I a rude person . The only possible variable I can find is that I'm now middle age .Have any other women experienced this phenomenon and how did you handle it Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2017): Well, there are a lot of men who are put out to pasture by their wives for younger men too you know!
Women are gaining on men in today's world.
We are much more independent and know what we want. And we are not aging like our mothers in their day.
So, we do not rely on these same men who ogle younger women. We could also kick their asses to the curb because we have the confidence to do it and know we can survive without them. And best of all, find a young stud who can go all night long. While the old guys are trying so hard to keep it up. Let a younger woman have him! Not much to have!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2017): Or men could act respectfully and
A) not ogle when they are with their women
B) be with a woman who is what they are looking for sexually , rather than stay in a marriage with an aging wife whilst wanting to f....k younger women. Hence wasting his wives time when she could be with a man who
Actually was wanting to be with someone like her
It's so frustrating how this is always put back on the woman and men's behaviours are never questioned
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2017): I don't think the whole world is conspiring against you. I really don't. And I do not share your views.I am 49 and nobody treats me the way you say you are being treated.I am actually treated very well.But maybe that is because I look like I am in my 30's. I have them all fooled! LolActually, your happiness comes from within. If you don't care about how people are treating you, nobody is going to treat you badly. Once you hit the off switch, then everybody is great. Everything is great. They key is not to care too much about these things. You care too much and you are going to blow it all out of proportion. You are assuming a lot, aren't you?Walk around with confidence. Whatever you believe is true. And when you believe it, so will everybody else.Everybody ages. Age gracefully and be proud of yourself. You have many good qualities that stand alone. And nobody can change that. You allow them to bring you down. So, don't. Change your own mind set. And you will see how things will change.Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2017): Hello, my dear!
You asked for the opinion of women, I know; but all people in their 40's and above, experience what you are experiencing.
That is because society in general has lead the masses to believe that youth and beauty matters above all and anything else. That's because they are constantly fed a diet of ageist and mean-spirited rhetoric on social media and through all forms of entertainment; that brainwashes them into believing older-people are feeble, washed-up, out-dated, foolish, and undesirable. They won't change their minds about it, until they get there. If they're lucky! It will be harder for them, rest assured. That's their bad karma!
The latest generation that we now label "the Millennials;" were raised by the generation we called Generation-X."
Generation-X decided they would punish "the Baby-boomers," for what was done to the planet, conservatism, hypocrisy, and closed-mindedness. So they taught their children not to be like us. To scorn and disrespect us. So they gave them praise for their lack of ambition, and rewarded them when they deserved discipline. They taught them they could do anything, even if they weren't really given the gifts or had the necessary intellect to comprehend and deliver. So you are treated as though you are beneath them and deserve no respect.
They believe everything bad on this earth is your fault, your wrinkles and bulges are unsightly and disgusting, and this is now their planet. Go die, and leave it to them. They are entitled to receive, regardless of effort; and your aging is a curse and disease they will do everything to avoid and delay. They have a surprise awaiting them. They will get their turn.
To handle it, you must maintain your dignity. So hold on to your values and truths you were given that made you a kind and understanding person. Appreciate the gifts you were given by God, and the ability only women have to bring forth life. You simply allow them to be as they are, and just be who you are. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger;" you know this through living and experience. They've yet to learn.
You are believing the hype, and you've become victimized and oversensitive to the ignorance and cruelties systemic to society. You must be a stronger person, because goodness, kindness, and generosity prevails under all circumstances.
You don't give-in or collapse under what you perceive; because the bitterness and cynicism will make you the same as those who oppress you. In other words, hate the sin and not the sinner.
Their world is different due to technology; but we are all destined to learn "there is nothing new under the sun." We are human beings born in different eras; but our suffering and problems are the same. Our rewards come from the same sources and efforts. That is to create and do good for all. Our confusion comes from our ignorance and refusal to accept the truth.
Don't allow a few ugly young people to create shame or hatred of your age. You have been blessed with experience, and developed tools of survival that have brought you this far in life. Your beauty remains in the eye of the beholder; but it also is seen through the goodness your spirit projects beyond your appearance. You are loved. Their stupidity blinds them, but when their spirit is burdened; they need your arms for comfort.
Yes, getting older now seems like a curse of nature. It is not what it seems. It is also a part of the brainwashing that makes us perceive that getting older deserves no praise, acknowledgement, or respect. I demand it. I don't go off at every sign I see of deterioration of our society; because that would make me angry and defeated. I remember through my faith and the teachings of my parents and grandparents; that growing older is reward for taking care of yourself. It is a testament to your success at overcoming challenges that could have killed you or destroyed you long ago. They have yet to meet and beat those challenges you can shrug your shoulders to, or laugh away.
You are a queen in your own right, my dear. They just don't know what you've seen and endured, and they are your foot-stool. They are like servants who have yet to earn their place in life, where you've already graduated. You already wear a crown. It's out age.
Ignore the rudeness and take the higher ground. See the ignorance for what it is, and the fact that you know better makes you smarter. Show kindness regardless of their rudeness; because it may be you who they need to save them from disaster, or to reach-out to in some unforeseen tragic event.
Embrace your age. Be proud of what you've done to get this far, and be good to your children in spite of their disrespect and uselessness. You gave them life. They can't appreciate it now, because you spoiled them with love. You gave everyone everything you thought they needed at your own expense and sacrifice. You were rewarded with life to live at least another 30 to 40 years. Their dismissive attitudes will bring them to a crossroads that will make them bow to you; because your love was the only sanctuary they have ever known. No love matches that of your mother's, the closest thing that comes to the love of God.
You've been hurt. Don't allow the exhaustion to defeat you. Take deep-breath, and get your second-wind, sweetheart. it's only a bump in the road in your journey through life. You're only feeling a scrape or bruise. You heal faster, because your skin is thicker. You're stronger than you realize. Let someone do something to someone you love. Then that lioness springs forth bearing her fangs, and claws extended.
Your greatest rewards are being able to say you've been there and done that. You can say "I've told you so!" You can look back on many challenges you've overcome to get you were you are. You've won many battles, and you're prepared for more.
You're blessed. Don't forget that!
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