New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Are men interested in a women in her 50's? Or do they always chose the younger ladies?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2017) 13 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2017)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

Are there many men actually interested in a relationship with an attractive woman in her 50s or will they always choose a younger woman if given the chance . It seems for sex an older woman is still often chosen if attractive especially by you get men but men in the same age group seem to reject women their own age and be obsessed with womeb half their age .id rather not be chosen by a man simply because a younger woman isn't interested In him but because he is sincerely interested in a peer ie women his own age

But it seems so rare

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2017):

Well that made my 50yr old butt rather happy Brownwolf :)

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (12 March 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

You bet your 50 something year butt we do. :)

The challenge of out doing, or out sexing an older woman...Yes please :)

How to make an experience woman, not able to walk to the bathroom after sex...hehehe.

How to make her orgasm so big...she needs oxygen..HAHA!!

There are men out there looking for that challenge. :) Trust me.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2017):

Older men who choose younger women sometimes do so as a way to assuage their insecurities about the inevitable process of aging.

Being seen in public with a younger woman reassures an older guy while telling the world he's still so good looking, virile and studly that younger women want to be with him.

I tend to suspect that it's less about being in love with younger women and more about being in love with the idea that younger women still finds him attractive.

I want to believe that there are plenty of older men who are not vain or insecure and would welcome the opportunity to make the acquaintance of a mature, well-rounded, age-compatible female.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (11 March 2017):

This question probably goes back to the beginning of mankind but I doubt that that any quality research has been done on this subject. So I'll just answer based on my own tastes and those of probably 50 guy friends who have touched on this subject in various conversations I've been involved with over the years. As a frame of reference, I'm 66 yo, live in Los Angeles and am part of the film & television scene here. So my thoughts may be colored by what goes on in Hollywood ("Shallowood" for the purposes of this conversation).

Older or younger, men are usually most comfortable conversing with someone their own age. So put a check mark in the "same age" box.

But men know that their image to other men (and sometimes their success in business) is very much tempered by your wife or girlfriend. If she's "hot", the guy will have the image of success and other people will want to align themselves with him.

There is a certain prestige factor for a man having a younger gal on his arm. Those guys who are nominated for Oscars...you can bet nearly every one of them (at least the straight ones) want to arrive in a limo and with a hot babe in tow. Look at this wife...Donald Trump is obviously the same way.

As for nature, as a guy ages it becomes more difficult for him to "get it up." This trick of nature encourages men to go for what they consider is most attractive, which is nearly always a younger woman.

While the older ladies seem to be losing the argument here, I see a lot of men choosing women who are interesting, keep themselves up, are healthy, groom their femininity, have a good sense of humor, share good values, share the same energy and activities, like the same food and entertainment, aren't needy, and so on. These are all factors where age doesn't play a role.

Personally, I want a woman more my own age. I am still kicking myself for not being more aggressive in flirting with a woman about my age who was behind me in the grocery-store line about a month ago. I'm still thinking about her a bunch of times a day but probably won't get that chance again.

Yes, being an older woman will present more problems in finding a man. You never know when you'll meet him, so dress well, work on your figure, stay vibrant, and be ready to laugh at his cute comments.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2017):

Brownwolf I see many many older women bringing wonderful gifts to the table . Not bitterness like you say . Many have had great experiences in thriller lives and are fun and happy people to be around yet the men explicitly and happily admit they leave for a chance at a fresh young body . Not the things you imply

Many young women I know can have negative personality traits and have had bad relationship experiences . This is not something that is exclusive to age . In fact experience usually teaches people ( especially women who are adaptable ) to move on and let go and grow from experiences rather than be negative

The truth is that many men DO go for younger women PURELY for the physical ( many many admit that happily) and whilst that's surely not a reason to be upset , it is valid and ok to ask whether many are around who see things differently .

Nothing wrong with that at all :)

So please don't imply I don't bring anything to the table or an unhappy .

Fact I'm extremely happy and a vibrant woman . I know I'm attractive and I know I enjoy having fun and enjoying all life has to offer. I accept totally that many men want you get women and they can justify that however they like . I'm not their cup of tea and they are likely not mine . We have no grope with one another .

Each to their own .

I only ask if their are many men who actual want a woman who can challenge them intellectually sexually , and emotionally . A peer who is their own age who doesn't have the body of a twenty year old :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (10 March 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Here is the number one question you should be asking yourself....What are you bringing to the table??

Are you bring a woman who feel put off by men, because you see them chasing younger women? If so...you lose...You bring negative energy...you get a negative response.

Do you know why older men chase after younger women??? It is not just about the younger body...it has to do with her energy and positive overall out look on life.

Older women tend to hold on to their past lives, and all the bad things that goes with it. Men try their best to get rid of the bad things in their lives the best way the know how. A younger woman who has not been exposed to the troubles of life...yet, and therefore has little or no worries to talk about, sounds about right to an older man. She has very little issues to talk about, he does not want to deal with his, or just wants to forget it all...checkmate.

The last thing and older man wants to talk about...is what other men have done to you. They do not want to hear you go on and on about your divorce, how you have been hurt, problems with your grown kids, and so on. They do not want to be put in the judging jar so you can inspect them, to see if they are going to turn out like one of men in your last relationship.

Why? He has been through his own world of crap. Since men have limited emotional connects to most things in this world, we want the crap gone. Wife divorced him...Hurts yes...but now he wants someone to make him forget his ex ever existed.

An older woman talking about the same issues over and over that he is trying to forget... counter productive to having a peace of mind.

So...again...what are you bring to the table? New life and energy,to forget all the crap in your past, and just want to enjoy this wonderful life with you new man? OR...Someone to listen to all your past problems with men?

Younger women are not to be envied...they are to be learnt from. Look at kids...no worries in the world, and happy as can be. Just imagine if we as adults learn be like children, and not care about all the crap this world has to offer.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2017):

I am 48 and my boyfriend is 63.

The trick is nabbing yourself an older man. ;)

He will treat you very well. You will be his younger woman and feel secure in the fact he is feeling so lucky to have you!

I am very attractive and look 10 years younger or more. I am confident in myself and stand alone; I don't compare myself to anyone, of any age, because I am beautiful, inside and out, and have a lot to offer, period. I could care less if a guy chose someone younger. It does not affect me or my beauty or self worth. It has nothing to do with me. Because there are plenty of other men who do find me attractive and worthy of dating. Men half my age included. So, I do not need an ego boost as I get one all the time there.

There are a lot of younger women who are unattractive and unsure of themselves. They are also more shallow and don't have much insight or much to say to keep a man interested long term. Their interests and worries and things which they find important do not mesh with men who are older. All they have going for them is their youth and that gets old for a man.

I would take my package - which includes confidence, self assuredness, knowing what I want, knowing how to please a man in bed and life experience - over theirs, age included, any day.

So just be confident in your own attractiveness. Don't give a crap about what men do or think. Believe me, it is when you do not give a crap and just enjoy your life and own who you are without worries or reservation, that you will attract the right guy! You pick and choose. NOT THEM.

Not all men are hung up on younger women!

I would remove such thoughts from my head. The people you know of are only a few on planet earth. This does not reflect the majority.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2017):

Thanks everyone , interesting answers .

Wiseowl , you say

'You're forgetting something. Men are visual-creatures and may fantasize about having young attractive sex-partners from the time he's an adolescent. He may never out-grow it, but his penis may not be able to live-up to the challenge.'

I didn't forget that at all. In fact that was the whole basis of my question . I'm extremely aware of just how visual men are . In fact it seems in many cases to drive every decision many of them ever make in regard to women , which is why I asked the question . I was wondering if the desire for the visual eye candy of a 25 yr old would out do the desire for a peer even if she was attractive. From my experience , even women who I personally consider extremely attractive older women with awesome personalities have been dumped for the chance to date someone younger . Whether that's because she literally has no wrinkles yet or it's an ego boost who knows.

From my experience it may go quite a bit deeper than men being visual . In fact research shows visual centres in men's brains no different to women's btw and women are just as ' visual ' as men ! I suspect it may have a little more to do with men's egos and socialisation . Ur what is considered acceptable for men , encouraged and also how women are viewed is what is a woman's worth beyond her appearance

The biological arguments for men wanting fertile women has never say well with me . These arguments are incredible flawed and by this logic women would be not looking for financial security ( as this argument often states ) as men flee once impregnable for of once offspring are very young . She would seek genetic traits that endured strong babies like muscular good looking men with great genes and women would be as superficial and drive by appearance as men!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2017):

Nowadays older women date younger men. Especially those who are attractive and confident. Companionship is a need you can fulfill temporarily; until you find a long-term commitment, offering you all the things you need and deserve.

You can't poison your mind with bitter thoughts and self-loathing, or man-hate; because of your age. We all get older, not younger. That kind of attitude reflects through your body-language, facial-expressions, and your general disposition. Which men flee from, and should. As you get older, your selection of mates has to change and variate. Men are not stupid, we are aware of that. Reality can't be ignored, no matter how hard we try. It is futile to cling to your youth. Having a younger sex-partner can't setback the hands of time.

It's a matter of availability no matter what gender or age-group you prefer to date. You can only attract those attracted to you. Period! Otherwise; you can use manipulation, money, and other enticements to bait those with ulterior motives and dollar-signs in their eyes. Which is what the kind of men you described would have to do in most cases. Younger-women are not flocking to those old coots! Those old geezers can want in one hand, and yank with the other!

If there are no eligible young women who are into the older gents, he can "prefer" all the younger women he wants. Doesn't mean he'll get one. We all have needs. We can't always get what we want! We tend to listen to logic and common-sense as we get older. Make a good choice, or be alone.

You're forgetting something. Men are visual-creatures and may fantasize about having young attractive sex-partners from the time he's an adolescent. He may never out-grow it, but his penis may not be able to live-up to the challenge.

We are wired to be attracted to women of child-bearing age, which is inherent from our primitive origins; but it's not an uncontrollable-impulse or die-hard trait as you're implying, or may perceive. It's a preference, but not necessarily a choice easily fulfilled. Even if it is, it may not turn out as planned or imagined. Not every May-December romance has a positive outcome. The odds are mostly against them. He usually dies first, if he's older.

An older-guy into younger babes usually has to compensate for the lack of youth and good-looks. Money, fancy cars, and prestige being the usual bait. In our own defense; men can presume younger women are always seeking older-men for a shortcut to wealth and financial-security. Therefore; they must make themselves available. Being in the right place, at the right time. Giving him far too many choices for his own good. Which means he'll frequently replace them. He'll get too old, and might run out of steam (and money) long before he gets a chance to trade-in or upgrade. He'll finally come to his senses and realize a women closer to his own age would have been perfect. Nature isn't always cruel!

He could lose it all, or half his assets, in a divorce; as bad karma will have it. That's the risk of wanting younger, when you're too old! A wise man makes practical decisions.

But why should a young beauty want some old guy, when they could just as easily find a young man with the whole package? Yes, a gold-digger will go for the money; but she has to give up something more precious in exchange. It isn't always worth it.

If a woman has let herself go, despises aging; and has a bitter attitude towards men and life in general. Who wants to date someone like that? You are referring to men who may be sexually-active or may still want to father children. Of course they'd want a woman capable and willing to have sex and/or bear children. Most women 50-plus don't want, or can't have children. Grand-kids are fine. Today's medicine may allow for bearing children over the age of 49; but not many older women want to do that, or can take such a risk.

I think if a man meets an older woman he's attracted to, that's because the chemistry was there between them. His lusts and sexual-impulses are not the only thing that defines the man, my dear. We all have the right to fantasize and follow our dreams.

Men of good character, wisdom, experience, and maturity may be attracted to young women; but most would rather choose an older woman he can relate to, if he really wants to have a serious and lasting relationship.

You can't judge all mature-men by flabby wrinkled old wealthy egotists, or skirt-chasing old leches; whose bad reputations stand-out above better men. Only because they're the ones who cause the most damage. Good men make better choices and live by their ethics and values. Just because you may not immediately get the man you want, or he's already taken; you don't give up the search in defeat.

In general, whatever is meant to be will happen. There is someone out there for everyone. Patience in people is at a premium these days. It seems a sense of entitlement rules in all ages; and cynicism is running rampant among singles in general. "If I can't get what I want now, I will never get it!" So somebody has to be blamed, right? So hate life, or hate on the opposite-sex?

Nothing worth having is easy to find, and takes meaningful effort to keep. You sometimes have to go through a series of dates and short-term relationships to find that jewel. Those with patience and positive-attitude, find what they're looking for. We should enjoy the journey and life until they find us. I'm speaking from experience, mine found me.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2017):

I dont think you can generalize here because there are women and indeed men who age well. Jane Fonda and Suzan Sarandon as examples. Being an old fart myself franky I gaze at good looking young girls when I see them, who wouldnt! but would never dream of having a relationship with one, even if I had the chance,which is very remote anyway because I think such relationship would be disasterous for me. For a lasting relationship I would choose someone near my age but one who has preserved her looks well. I hope this answers your question.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 March 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI think there ARE men who rather date younger women because they themselves don't see themselves as getting up there themselves. And of course, because there IS the social stereotype that an older man dating a younger woman is more virile...

But I also think there are men who aren't as focussed on the age but focused on finding someone who is at the same stage in their life, who wants the same things, share the same values, hobbies etc.

You write: "id rather not be chosen by a man "

So don't "let" a man choose - be the one to CHOOSE.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (9 March 2017):

Aunty BimBim agony auntMy father in law married a lady in her 50s and they went on to have a further 30 happy years together.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2017):

Denizen agony auntI think discerning men value women for what they bring to the relationship. They may be pleasing on the eye; they may be intelligent, witty, or an angel of kindness.

However a good man, in my opinion will value the whole package. He may not like some parts, or wish some things could be improved, but the real gift a man can give is not to attempt to change you - because you are uniquely beautiful. It's not your relative age.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Are men interested in a women in her 50's? Or do they always chose the younger ladies?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312761000022874!