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Apparently I have made him paranoid because of the porn I have been watching!

Tagged as: Pornography, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello i am in need of some advice. My partner and i have been together for 4 years and have 2 children together, 3years and 6months, and recently we have been arguing a lot.

Since having my second child i promised myself i'd get out more and have fun with my friends etc as i did kinda lose who i was since having my first and had enough of being stck at home whle he gets to go out all the time.

We have a very good sex life, always tryin out new things and neither of us deny we watch porn, both together and on our own. But lately, he has been really funny with me. He looked through what i had been watching, to put bluntly 2 guys and a girl, and has been throwing it at me in arguements. He says that he doesn't watch anything like that but i know he has watched quite of 2 girls n 1 guy in the past so the word hypocrite comes to mind!!

Anyway, over the last couple of weekends he has mentioned having a threesome with his mate, while his mate was there. I constantly told him no because he would then get paranoid with me.

Then today hem went through what i had been watching again, started an arguement over it and started calling me a skank, slag etc becase of it.He reckons that since goin out more i have been acting really sneaky and is adament i have been sleeping around. Now apparently i have made him paranoid because of what i watch and the way i have been acting, and is leaving me because of this. I'm torn between what i should do. Part of me says that i should at least see if i can make him see that i ain't like that, but part of me says that he'll be doing me a favour if he leaves, i'll be able to lead a life that i will enjoy as he has treated me like crap in the past (abusive). I want to find myself again but i dont want to be a single mum of 2. What should i do?

P.S sorry, i didnt mean for it to be so long!!

View related questions: porn, sex life, threesome

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank-you so much for your feedback, it helped ensure what i was already tryin to tell myself with this situation. Am goin to move on, it scary the thought of being on my own but i know i can do it. thank-you so much all of you x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010):

To me this guys sounds like an insecure bum. Dump him and move. You deserve better.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2010):

Miamine agony auntLets push the porn aside, that is not the real issue. Both of you watch porn and enjoy it..

The problem is that he feels jealous and left out. He was used to you being at home, and now as you say, you go out a lot more now.. This is threatening, he probably feels that moving away from him, or maybe you might find someone else in your travels.

It is important for you to go out with your friends, however it is important that you share quality time together as a family, and also quality time as a couple.

Try to make time to go out with him and have romantic dates, this should make him feel valued.

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That's what I would have said if the guy hadn't been cursing and abusing you...

What the hell are you staying in this relationship for, with a man who is so abusive?

Yes, you would be happier without him.

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