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Anybody want to share ideas on being freaky?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *HOcker23turbo writes:

So i'm new to this site, anyways... i'm 20 and me and my girlfriend have ben going out for 2.5 years :) and we've done or talked about doing just about everything sexual, and she and i are actually worried that if we last that we will run out of things to do sexually, we are both freaky people, willing to do a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g unless it involves blood or feces. so basically my question is is there anyone out there that just wants to share some ideas on being 'freaky' so to speak? i have theee hugest sock/legwear fetish, i have a pee fetish, and i love eating out and i LOVE pleasing my girlfriend, any tips on improving the sex life we have and are worried will die down? thank you :D

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A male reader, SHOcker23turbo United States +, writes (4 December 2010):

SHOcker23turbo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

first of all thank you everyone for the answers. a few of you have helped :) and me and hers relationship is top freaking notch, to be honest we rarelyyy have sex and do 'stuff' due to the fact that were both still living at home shes with her parents im with mine. so im not worried about sex ruining the relationship, and i wasnt really worried about running out of things to do so i apologize for wording that wrong, i just feel as if i ran out of ideas and she felt the same, just thought i would ask the question mainly to share ideas about making the bedroom more exciting if you will. it is rare we have sex yes, it is even more rare(rarer? excuse my grammar and punctuality) that we 'get freaky'. I just love trying new things and it seemed as if we ran out of ideas, although i did get the word today that her and her friend want to have a threesome :) which is every guys fantasy.

and i've researched a good amount about a threesome, i made sure my girl was completely comfortable with the idea and if she wanted to back out of it at any time to tell me and we wont do it and i wont care if we wont do it, she is my number one priority in my life. the 'other girl' is her friend and me and her friend and my girl used to all hang out the three of us together years ago, and its weird because everyone(peers) thought we were all just 'bangin it out' so to say. my idea of this threesome is to maintain equality and be sure to read my girlfriends body language to see if im going to far or not, but she said she'd be okay with anything as long as me and the other girl did not have sex, seems fair to me haha. the other thing is, my girlfriend(and i) are pleasers, we love giving pleasure more then receiving it, and in the threesome i just want to make sure both women are pleased, just knowing that would please me enough! so the girl would come back to and do it again, because i think that would expand alot too, but the threesome would also be a rare thing as well.

i REALLY appreciate all of the advice and positive comments :) and once again me and my girlfriend have a rock solid relationship, we started off as best friends, and its ben like that ever since, i love our relationship and couldnt ask for anything more :)

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A female reader, chloebabeechick United States +, writes (26 November 2010):

chloebabeechick agony auntBelieve it or not I think there's such a thing as trying TOO hard in the bedroom. Meaning if you both feel pressure to find something novel to do all the time it may negatively impact your sex life. As long as all the mental and emotional intimacy is there, sex will be natural and enjoyable. That doesn't mean don't seek to spice things up, just relax on the worry things will get boring and dull.

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A male reader, slimfish New Zealand +, writes (25 November 2010):

slimfish agony aunti'm so sorry your'e bored.

lots of sex can do that to a guy, yawn!.

you could try going without sex for a couple of years, or going out for the evening, or going for a bike ride etc. etc. etc.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010):

Hi, firstly we are in 2010, we have fetish clubs, the internet + sex tip galore! I think your fear is only a fear if you let it be, Sounds like you have a great sexual connection and the fact that you can openly talk to each other about it is a huge bonus. It seems like you are focusing so much on trying to do as many 'freaky' things as you can, as fast as poss incase it dies down. Slow down and just enjoy each other, take turns to explore each others bodies and be vocal about what you like and what you dont, then build up If you feel its dying down get your gf to impose a sex ban and i guarantee when you are allowed to get your hands on her again you'l be thinking very differently. ENJOY!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010):

A good resource is magazines and, well, Google. There are a whole host of site dedicated to the subject of mixing it up, as there are a whole host of sites dedicated to the subject of just about Everything (seriously, Wikipedia Any Random Thing, and you will most assuredly discover that there is an entire fetish culture obsesssssed with it and has been obsessssssed with it for all remembrance of Time).

If you have any ounce of creativity in you, as just about every human being Does, you will find that there are ideas everyeveryEverywhere... "Aphrodisiacs" are only "aphrodisiacs" because it's all in the mind. Anything at all can be incorporated in nearly any way at all to turn ya on... and it doesn't even have to be something you particularly fetish or fantasize about; you'd be surprised at what you'd enjoy if only you tried!

There are "toys" to be bought, videotapes to be made, roles to be played, variously textured (edible?) substances to be sampled... You could also (I am having all too much fun answering this) buy a dictionary of verbs to give you some ideas. Hm. What could one do with the verb. Slather. Or the verb. Tickle? Could one buy a feather duster to enable the carrying out of this verb? What could one buy to carry out the verb... enchain? A whole Host of things, I assure you.

(Ah yes, muchtoomuch fun...) Apparently, cleverly (or obviously) placed mirrors make things interesting. And changing your environment (anywhere from your backyard to a room at The Ritz) never could hurt (well, okay now... it Could... but that Could also be a good thing, am I wrong...).

You could also add adverbs to the verbs.

Hurt nicely. Nicely is a good one.

Scold nicely.

... nicely

... nicely.

Mad libs. Try the Mad Libs.

and.. er...

Have fun...

-Your Tante Vic

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (25 November 2010):

Hi there. This is going to be a whole different take on it altogether. Not what you're expecting at all.

It's ok to try different things together in the bedroom, it can make sex more interesting, for sure.

However, just as long as you both enjoy the lovemaking you have, is really the the most important thing.

Because you are constantly trying to find other "freaky" ways of making out, it is possible that it will all exhaust itself out eventually. Then it's likely that boredom might set in. This could spell the end of everything.

Are you afraid of that happening?

The way you place so much importance on doing the wierdest things you can both think of in the sex arena, it seems that your whole relationship is based on sex and not very much more.

Is there more to your relationship than just sex?

For instance, do you go out together to nice places, have fun (non sexual, that is), go to nice restaurants, go on picnics, the movies or see shows?

Why I am saying this, is that there needs to be a lot more in any good relationship than just good sex. Yes, it's an important part of a relationship, but not the most important part.

You have been together 2.5 years, which is a little while. Although in any relationship, it is usually still the "honeymoon" stage - the newness stage. Beyond this newness stage - around 3 years, things might begin to change for both of you. One or both of you, could start to feel that you want more from the relationship - than just good sex.

Really good relationships not only have good sex, they also have good communication and an emotional closeness, that is much more powerful than just fantastic sex could ever try to be.

As great as sex can be, whether it's in the beginning or over a couple of years, no matter how much better you are always trying to make it, eventually it starts to wear very thin and just peters out altogether. Because it can become the ONLY good thing the relationship has going for it. You might not be to that stage just yet, but it might not be very far away from now.

I say this, because already you are finding it a challenge to think up more wierd stuff to do, and are asking people on the public domain of the internet, what we think. This is something for you to seriously think about.

It does seem to me, that if no-one can think of something to tell you, that you are getting worried you have reached the end of the road with each other.

In any case, what really makes sex even better, is how you both feel about each other. Not what you think about technique and ability to please, but what you feel about each other's personality, sense of humour, generosity, caring, having things in common with each other. These are really important parts of a relationship, and the things that would have brought you together in the first place.

Good sex can help keep you together, because you enjoy it so much, but the real glue in a relationship is -

- Great communication

- How you speak to each other

- Listening when the other talks

- Doing nice things for each other

- Respecting each other

- Total acceptance of each other

- Sharing your life with each other

- Sharing your innermost thoughts with each other

- Being open and honest

- Having a positive attitude

And so many other things as well.

Building a good rapport with each other outside of the bedroom, builds such powerful feelings of attraction, that as a natural consequence, the feelings you both have when making love, become so much more intense as a result. There really is no comparison.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (25 November 2010):

chigirl agony auntTrust me, if you stay innovative and interested in sex you will come up with ideas yourself. If you're good in bed you'll never really get bored, it's called "perfecting your technique". Try tantric sex though. It might not be "freaky", but sometimes you need something good and deep to be able to enjoy the freakyness.

Don't worry about the future though, just make a pact between each other to say that if you ever DO end up bored you will take full responsibility for spicing it up. Plus, as sexually active as you are you won't really ever get bored... Sex is not something you kinda get bored of unless you fall into a rut.

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