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Any thoughts on what I am?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Pornography, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I'm 17, male, i've been going out with this girl for about 9 months now, and we're are having sex. its great. Getting to my point, as much as i enjoy to look at her naked, i think i'm weird, and worry about what i like.

For instance, i watch lesbian porn because i dont like normally porn ( cause of the men ) but yet i like to watch gay porn as well ( some )

I dont really think that i'm gay, well, i hope i'm not, nothing against gay people but i wouldnt want to be, but yeah, i never see myself or would what to be with a boy, in a relationship, the mere thougth of kissing them makes me sick, yet, if i was to look at a picture of a man naked it would like it, if i some another guy preforming oral, i would love it, probably want it to. Again i dont like men though.

Another thing, i stumbled onto this website that ended up being a gay sauna website, i found myself spending hours on tehre looking through everything that happens there, and even created my own account and added people, just for fun.

I took a "am i gay test" on the internet and i found that i was aroused by the situations that they were giving, so much so i found i was hard and wet, and had to 'sort my self out' but yet i dont want to kiss them or go out with them, i dont look at boys and think, fit, or i would.

Once when i was younger, i had a friend a few years older who intorduced me to masterbation, we use to do it everytime i went to his house, however i found myself watching him touching him, instead of the screen, and wondering what would it taste like.

I know that i love my girlfriend, and i know that i get turned on by her, i know i'm not gay as i have trouble another not being with other girls, however i know that if i was to suck off a boy i'd like it, i think, so, any thoughts on what i am?

View related questions: gay porn, kissing, lesbian, porn, the internet

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A male reader, jp21 United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

jp21 agony auntyour bi, you could be with a girl or a guy and feel comfortable with it too. i think if you would feel comfortable sucking off a guy then kissing him wouldn't be such a strech. i love to kiss a guy with a shaven face.

theres more you can do with a guy too. idk you may want to experiement later on, if your not still with your gf. You love her now but it may not work out. when your in love with anyone you think its really going to work but theres no promisses it truely will work out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010):

You are 17, you say you like girls and thought of kissing a boy grosses you out, but you think you would enjoy getting sucked off by a guy...

You watch a lot of porn and in particualr gay porn. Psychologically, your porn use is having a psychological affect on you which is sad really. You are aroused by unusual sex acts between same sex people, it feels safe to watch it here out of curiousity, but doesn't mean that you want to carry that out in your real life. Because you are young, raging with hormones and still developing an identity you are doing this mind fuck on yourself and you can stop it if you want to. The porn is what psychologists call "desensitizing" you to same sex acts, it is building an emotional bridge to normalizing these behviors to you, when clearly they are not your normal.

You have a choice to either be bi and live a stupid life that worships sex with strangers and any sex will do, or you can choose an authentic life and stop obsessing about sex and watching porn and put your mind on figuring out who you are, what you want in life, what your purpose is and what your goals are. Your sexual identity will grow from that, don't mess it up with entertaining all of the Options just because you wonder in your mind what it would be like to be those people in the porn videos. It's a damaging, addictive habit. Cut it out!!!!!

This is a honest, mature person's perspective, not a homophobe....you are not confused, you are dicking around in dangerous waters because it is considered cool to be bi sexual of all things....what a sad state our society is in. You don't unlearn things, you fall into maladaptive behavior because you are easily ifluenced and habituated by your own habits....your natural sexuality is with girls, you said so yourself, your actions show it. You're straight and curious because you are a naive kid.

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A female reader, GreenBlue United States +, writes (8 July 2010):

You are bisexual. I am bisexual as well, and have the same confusing thoughts. It's strange to open yourself up to this new world...but don't think about it too much. You are not a terrible person. If you want to watch gay porn, watch it. If you want to watch straight porn, watch it. Whatever you want to do, DO it! You have the freedom to choose. Don't fret.

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (7 July 2010):

AvgGuy1 agony auntYer Bi. Just accept it... and then maybe work on not being so paranoid about it. I know that society 'teaches' us it's WRONG and DISGUSTING to be attracted to someone of the same sex but you know... it's not really. You just have to UN-LEARN what society has drilled into you. I'm sure that deep-down you too know that you're Bi. You're obviously not totally GAY or the thought of being intimate with women would not be appealing. And if you wanna suck some dick... or vice versa... just go do it.

And another way to look at it is that it DOUBLES your chances of getting laid. ;-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010):

You may be bisexual. This doesn't mean 50/50, it could be a smaller percentage towards men. I'm a bisexual woman but I'm about 20/80. I love looking at women, watching women touch themselves, and I could easily see myself making out with a girl or going down on her. But I wouldn't want to date a woman. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual and it shouldn't affect your relationship with your girlfriend.

Also, yeah, being turned on by something doesn't mean you want to do that. The intimacy of watching someone else touching themself, man or woman, is arousing. It's the intimacy and the power of sex that arouses us while watching porn. Don't worry too much about whether you are gay and just focus on what you like. That's what's important.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010):

It's the same for girls but obvs the other way round, loads of girls think thyre gay and then they realise they are just turned on by the sight of pleasured women, don't worry about it...

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 July 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntwell. i think you're a normal pubesent boy with an intense curiosity(like most of ud you like to peer into the "other world" to see what's going on but since you don't get turned on by it, my guess would be you are straight hetrosexual with the typical curious nature we all have to see other bodies of the same sex to campair and contrast our self worth and identification.. no worrys my friend relax and enjoy your girlfriend.

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (6 July 2010):

TimmD agony auntIt sounds like you are bisexual. I know, you say you don't want to kiss boys/men... but as a straight person I can tell you that I don't want to kiss every single girl I see out there. Maybe you just haven't found the "right" boy yet.

But saying that you think you'd like being sucked off by a guy and enjoy watching guys stroke themselves, etc, then it means there is a good chance you are bisexual. (since you are still attracted to girls)

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A female reader, Liza999 Canada +, writes (6 July 2010):

Liza999 agony auntWhat you like to think about and watch to get aroused does not depict your sexual orientation. You are exploring what you like and that doesn't mean your weird. I like to watch two men as well just cause it's tabboo doesnt mean I'd want to see it in person. The problem with all the access to porn and the internet is too much involvement in the taboo can make your own sex life seem dry. If you want things to work with you and your gf cut back on the porn watching and try to be more involved in what is real and in front of you.

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A male reader, Flyguymyeye United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2010):

Bi or possibly gay and in denial.

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