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Any sex advice for a larger lady?

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Question - (25 July 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm very overweight and not very "attractive" but I've met a fella who accepts me as I am.

We're now having regular intercourse for the first time in my life.To be honest I'm just glad to feel wanted and satisfy a man's needs in bed.Looking ahead,though, I'd like to have an orgasm.

Because of my weight I can only lay on my back during intercourse.Is there anything I can do to help us-my man is very nice but like myself-a bit inexperienced.

View related questions: orgasm, overweight

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008):

FinnMcCool is bang out of order sayin that to you hun! big is beautiful, no matter what size, shape, colour, how many arms and legs youve got, wether youve got three eyes or are pink with yellow dots, you are who you are and you are gorgeous! everyone is their own person and everyone has their mr or mrs right. ignore what he says and love you for who you are, im sure your new chap does :D as for the sex, the other aunts have given some great advice, yeah check out some websites, watch a bit of porn and just experiment! have fun while you still can :D good luck chickk! and congratss bout the guy (Y) xx

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A female reader, junebug United States +, writes (25 July 2008):

hey hun im big myself and wonder all the time why my boyfriend is with me. But that guy who said u need to lose weight for u and ur boyfriend is an ass. Yea it would be healther for us 2 lose some but i love my body. I never thought i would say it cuz i was never happy bein big but i have ment other big girls and they thaught me that you have to love your body and honestly you can feel sexy and you can be big and beutiful. I alawys thought everyone was lieing but really feeling good but once i became 2 love myself and get comfortable bein naked in front of my man we went to porn shops and got books and i learned from those and pornos yeah i felt bad watchin pornos cuz i thought my bf would think bout them durning sex but that feelin will go away cuz if he didnt like u he wouldnt be here. Ya know?anyways just love your body and things will come to u. And dont ever listen to assholes that say u need to lose wieght. Im sure u look good cuz big and bold is hott! Good luck

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A female reader, LIERIN United States +, writes (25 July 2008):


Congrats on your guy! I always love hearing happy loved people!!! BTW dont every say that you are not attractive, becaue everone is! Trust me, even if you were skinny blond bitch like me, you would still feel not attractive for one ore another reason! But you have to be confident nomatter how big you are!!!!!!!

I would definetely try doggy style. You can also lean on the edge of the bed, so its lil more comfortable for you, this position is awesome ... or when you are lying on your back ... put your legs litthle higher and if you can, put them on his shoulders or around his back and hold tight. YOu can also lie on your side (but I dont like that one .. kinda sucks ... for me at least)

And don't worry just because MR FinnMcCool calls you pretty much a fat cow that needs to loose weight .. who cares!!!!!! HE is not the one who is dating you, your man is, and he obviulsy sees something in you that no one did yet.

Hey, Its always great to loose wieght because it just makes you feel soooo much better, but it doesnt mean, that YOU HAVE TO DO IT unless you are unhealthy and sick and DR saiz so. If you feel good the way you are , and he love syou the way you are than you have no reason tolisten to someone like FinnMcCool.... someone likes chubby, someone likes skinny ... someone likes bony .. we are all different!!!!

Good luck to you and your pall

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (25 July 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntHey, congrats on the new guy! Have a lot of fun exploring each other.

Okay, first off, have you ever had an orgasm? Don't be afraid to admit that you have not, it is very common for women in your age bracket and even older never to have experienced one.

If you have not, then you need to do some exploration of your body and its responses. Please don't be shy about this, this is a learning experience and will help you reach a very satisfying and intimacy-sharing sex (and love) life. I recommend getting a vibrator. Not a giant dildo thing, but one that can also be used for muscle massage. I think Ann Summers is the UK source? I don't know that for sure. Anyway, get yourself nice and relaxed and have a bath if you want and make sure you block out a bit of private time here. Then explore your body with your hands. The area that you're focusing on should include your vulva and pay especial attention to your clitoris. Try experiementing with your hand and with the vibrator, putting both were it starts to feel good. Eventually, with some practice and some patience, you'll reach a climax.

Now that you know how that feels and what kinds of things bring it on, then you can share it with your fella!

There's a very informative post on cunnilingus, too, that if you both feel comfortable with oral sex, you might have him read it.

Okay, on to sexual positions, there is a gallery of positions here, illustrated by those wooden painters models, you know the jointed puppet looking things. So it is relatively safe for work. You should have a browse through the gallery, as the discussion also includes information on which type of people might find a particular position comfortable.

Good luck and have fun.

Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn't remind you to always practice safe sex. Use protection, please!

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A female reader, Theoneandonlybutterfly United States +, writes (25 July 2008):

Theoneandonlybutterfly agony auntGirl you better try doggle style it's helps and you can play with yourself at the same time and it's good exercise too!!! Start try to enjoy more watch porns it's help to see big girls and how they work it you going to get more confidence feel more sexy just watch my girls was going through the same thing and we got her big girl sexy clothes or made same and that sex on a regular base help with losing weight to i have lost over 70pound by have sex 3 times and day or every other day. If he like you the way u are trust me he would not mind different sex acts good luck and believe in yourself and that will help u more!!!

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A female reader, uganut86 United States +, writes (25 July 2008):

uganut86 agony auntTry putting a pillow under your bottom or even raising your knees higher so that he can get deeper inside of you. Hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008):

Well, in my experience, the ones that never seem to orgasm just cannot help but explode with a little cunnilingus. Tell him that's what you want him to try and talk to him as he's doing it - letting him know what is not so good, good, great, fucking fantastic!!!

However, you owe it to yourself and your man to lose weight. It's just plain laziness and selfishness if you don't. You got in that state, get out of it - start now! You will find that you will be more receptive to stimulation as a result. And you'll look and feel better too!

Sorry if I sounded harsh but no point in me pissing about if I'm trying to be helpful!

Good luck.

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