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Any advise on what I can do to feel more relaxed while trying to learn and do my new job?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2018)
A male age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Pls help!

I have issues with anxiety and panic attacks. I have recently joined this new firm where most of my colleagues are from the best schools and are really smart. It's great that this opportunity had come through and the job is something that I didn't expect to land. It's just happened to be another interview that somehow clicked and now I find myself here. I was a normal student from a non ivy league college and the job came through because of prior related work experience.

I am eager to make a good impression with everyone but I'm so nervous and stressed out all the time at work. All the new jargons being thrown around at meetings and casual conversation is really intimidating and I find it difficult to do even the stuff I would have done with ease normally. I'm finding it difficult to pick things up as fast as I'd like to and I just don't feel at ease at the office. I just keep looking forward to go home so that I can be away from everything and breathe normally again. It's been 2 days since my joining but the nervousness is unbearable. I know that talking to friends, family or a therapist is always a good thing to do but once I'm actually in that new kid in the block situation, everything just becomes fight or flight and am finding it difficult to cope. Any advise on what I can do to feel more relaxed while trying to learn and do my new job?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2018):

Don't be intimidated because others have gone to "better" schools or are in a more senior position. That doesn't make them any better than you. Im often surprised at how useless people manage to blag their way into senior positions. Most normal people feel the way you feel when they start a new job. It takes at least 3 months to get to grips with most jobs so just enjoy the learning process! Good luck.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2018):

Starlights agony auntStarting a new job and fitting in sometimes takes time. To feel more relaxed try breathing exercises or meditation (because they really do work!) see:

Trust in your own ability, you got this! otherwise they wouldnt have picked you for the job so you are CAPABLE. Trust yourself and Goodluck!

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A female reader, TheJazziest United States +, writes (14 February 2018):

TheJazziest agony auntReading your question one thing really stuck out to me: CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE! The reason I am shouting it, is because I want you to know how important it is that you develop some in yourself. Why, you may be thinking? Because, you ARE just as good, smart, capable and qualified as every single Ivy league kid that you are working with. Know how I know? Because they hired you. They don't hire people who they don't think can hack it, dude. Straight up. On the other side of the coin, I don't want to belittle how you are feeling. Honestly I have been there, lived there, ate and slept there. Heck, I still vacation there more times than I would like to admit. But the truth is that everyone who you are meeting that you feel is really "on it", was once exactly where you are. The only difference between them and you is that they believed in themselves long enough to stick it out and stay the course. So, as for how you can make it through until you get to Confidence Island, that depends on your own personal preferences. How do you like to unwind? Does a good book or TV show relax you? Like bike rides or walks in the park? Whatever you find most gets you out of the dumps in your personal life, apply that same method to each and every stressful day you have at work. Come home and zen out. On a serious note though, if you are having very frequent panic or anxiety attacks, be sure that you speak to that trusted friend, therapist or even a doctor about this. This isn’t something to take lightly if it keeps happening. In the meantime, develop some breathing exercises, affirmations and take whatever breaks you have at work to remind yourself that you are here for one reason and one reason only: you EARNED it. And when you're at work try to branch into any interesting work social events and drum up some allies, be sure to ask questions from someone who you determine you can trust. Study up as much as you can-just as you did in school-and by all means, start entering the room with the same confident, can-do attitude and winning personality that got you in the door. Trust me, when you realize the gem that you truly are, you'll recognize that some Ivy-leaguers are hiding behind that "prestigious" name. Be proud of yourself that you made it into your position through no fancy named college, but through your name and your own hard work. CONGRATULATIONS on your new job! Proud of you through this screen and knowing that you can and will do it! And once you’re done with all of that, pat yourself on the back for a job well done *pun intended*.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 February 2018):

Honeypie agony auntIt's OK to feel a little like a fish out of water the first couple of weeks (sorry) my advice would be TAKE notes. Make a folder you can RELY on to do the various tasks so you can get to familiarize yourself with your job functions.

It's ONLY been two days, it's OK.

Try and relax (I know that easier said than done) but EVERYONE there was NEW once.

If it gets bad take some calming breaths:

Calming Breath

Take a long, slow breath in through your nose, first filling your lower lungs, then your upper lungs.

Hold your breath to the count of "three."

Exhale slowly through pursed lips, while you relax the muscles in your face, jaw, shoulders, and stomach.

It DOES get better! And I'm pretty sure they didn't hire you if they didn't think you can do the job.

Chin up! And CONGRATS on the new job!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (14 February 2018):

chigirl agony auntStick to it for at least two months and then ask yourself if this is the right place for you or not. Anywhere new would still be intimidating after only two days.

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