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Any advice on reconciliation?

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Question - (14 August 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2017)
A male United States age 30-35, *usclehampster writes:

Hello, my ex' and I have been chatting for the last couple months again and getting closer. We talk to each other all day and even make time to spend with each other a couple days a week. I'm taking her to lunch tomorrow and am going to ask to reconcile and apologize for everything in breaking up our relationship.

Is there any advice any one can give me on how to go about doing this or should I just do it from the heart and hope that she will take me back?

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (15 August 2017):

Dionee' agony auntIt seems like the two of you are already on the right track to reconciling.

We don't know the details of what went wrong so our advice will be very limited.

As Fatherly Advice mentioned, you will have to work hard on rebuilding trust in your relationship. It is a huge part of reconciliation. In fact, it is a huge part of any relationship.

Most importantly, if the two of you do get back together then do try not to mess it up this time around as that may scar you both for life. Make sure that this time, everything that went wrong the first time is corrected this time around.

Make sure to treat her with the respect, love and kindness that she deserves.

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A male reader, judgedick France +, writes (14 August 2017):

judgedick agony aunttaking you back is one thing but keeping the promises you make over a dinner for ever and a day is another,

She must be expecting and partly wanting to get back together if she is spending a lot of time with you,

the most important thing is you have to work hard to show her that she is more to you than your life,

you have to make her feel special 24/7, if you're lucky to get a chance again it is the last chance, and only a few second chances work to be a great love story

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (14 August 2017):

Fatherly Advice agony auntyour story needs more details, but there is some general advice I can give you. Reconciliation requires, more than anything, building trust. This will be harder than the first time because you are not starting at zero, you are starting way deep in the distrust zone. Apology is a good start but you will need to do some heavy lifting to get this back to where it was. Trust is made up of promises made and kept. you will have to rebuild it one promise at a time.

Some questions that will help us advise you. Are there shared children? Was there an affair or infidelity? Who betrayed whom? Was there any abuse? Physical or emotional? Do you share a religion? How long were you together? Married?

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