A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Any advice for how to play this - I haven't seen my boyfriend for 8 months. I am due to fly out to him in 3 weeks and we have had an argument (not the first time as the distance has taken its toll) but he has said not to bother coming he is not sure if it will work - I think he said this in frustration. I have known him 3 years - I just cannot accept it. My flight is booked and now I am wondering.... do I just turn up? I cannot get a refund. I have been wanting and looking forward to seeing him for so long and despite the difficulties really believe in our future. I am beside myself and cannot think straight but have no idea what to do. He will not answer the phone or my texts. I have considered playing it cool but I feel anything but. Please help.
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male
reader, Hench +, writes (27 June 2008):
Well, in my opinion it would seem that your crazy about him, so 'not turning up' is not an option!
I think you should keep trying to contact him, and I believe that you should just literally turn up at his door 3 weeks from now, see how he reacts, and work on your relationship from there...
Well I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do
'In Life You Gotta Take Risks'
Liam x x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): I go and stay at a hotel you need to see each other face to face and decide to end it or work it out.
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A
male
reader, Marco262  +, writes (27 June 2008):
I dated my girlfriend long distance for two years before she moved to the same state as me, so I think I know what he's feeling
Long distance relationships are really tough, and the stress can hit hard at the worst times. Your boyfriend may have finally decided that the distance is too much for him, and he's distancing himself from you while he works through the emotional issues. Telling you not to come this close to a visit is a very stupid thing for him to do, but chances are he panicked and wasn't thinking straight.
Send him one last message telling him you can't get a refund on your ticket and you really want to see him one last time, at least. Then plan to not show up at all. Cancel your flight, sell the ticket on craigslist, or maybe take the flight but do some tourist stuff instead. If you do show up at his doorstep uninvited, you're more likely to get a hostile or cold reception than anything, and the trip will have seemed like a waste anyways.
At best, this was a moment of panic for him, and he'll regret it later and you two will be able to look back on this moment and laugh. At worst, this is the end of a relationship.
Is it harsh? Yes.
Is this how it should have gone down? No. But these things suck sometimes.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, sex-slave +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Just show up as long as you booked a return flight too. Don't want to get stuck their if he really won't let you be there...
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A
female
reader, freebird  +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Hi,
I guess you should go if you will regret it later if you don't go. That is if this is some kind of last chance to renew the relationship.
But be prepared for the worst. He might have gown apart. Or he doesn't feel strongly about the relationship any longer. Or may be he is simply playing hard to get (in which case you are lucky).
Let me tell you: distance kills. So don't blame him or yourself for anything.
Good luck
fb
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A
male
reader, no_issues +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Sounds like a dead end. If you can't get a refund, find someone else to hang out with in your destination town when the boyfriend turns out to be an ex-boyfriend with a pimp cane and a vapid sex bunny on each arm. Then at least you can have some fun, and have a shoulder to cry on.
Or threaten terrorism. That will get you out of your flight, and give you other problems to worry about aside from this chucklehead. Nothing like being arrested and thrown in torture jail with Osama bin Laden to get over being dumped.
Which is what has happened to you.
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