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Anal Sex without lube

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2008) 17 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2010)
A female Azerbaijan age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Hi. My boyfriend really wants to have anal sex without lube. I'm fine with this (I'm aware that it will hurt badly, and I'm ok with that), but we need to know if it is possible without seriously damaging me. I've never had anal sex before, let alone without lubrication, but I'd like to try it. Please help?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010):

I'm a woman who enjoys pain and enjoys anal. I Always let my husband do it without lube, in fact I prefer it. It's because I cum from my ass. As soon as he gets in there I get soaking wet almost immediately. I get too wet. If you've been doing anal sex with your partner for a long time and often ( we do it almost every time we have sex), then you might not need lube anymore. Maybe just a tiny bit for the initial penetration. Even though I don't even like that. I'm not all messed up or have hemmorhoids or anything like that. If it hurt...too bad I wouldn't do it. Each person has their own likes and dislikes and can tolerate different levels of pain. I'd suggest doing what feels good to you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009):

Ok, based on years of this, walk before you run. in college I dated a girl that was into pain, and she liked me to penetrate her (vaginaly) prior to her getting wet. It was tight and even hurt me a bit. After dating for several months I was able to get her off that kick. About a year into the relationship she wanted me to be her first anal partner, which I egarly accepted. It took a week or so of anal play, with lots of lube before I could slide all the way in. There was some discomfort, and occasionally so severe that we stopped. Finally, she learned to relax and allow me to slide all 6" up her ass. It was heaven for both of us...

After that we occasionally found that I had just enough pre-cum and she could loosen up enough so that I could slide in w/o lube (I know, it still amazes me too) and it was good.

you need to be aware, sliding in dry and even mild thrusting could rumpture the lining of your ass. Even a little rip is going to be a huge problem as it could take months (say 4 to 6) before it heals as everytime you take a dump it's going to rip open. Having a bloody open soar being exposed to shit everyday is not fun... you need to seriously consider NOT starting out here...

be careful, a miss step could be a giant pain in the ass...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008):

Sorry old fool, but this lady and her partner seem to enjoy pain. She's never done anal before, and for some reason she doesn't think it will be painful enough. For those of us that have tried, we have tried to reassure her that first time anal sex with lubrication will be painful enough. Hopefully she's got the message. Because first time anal sex without lubrication just won't work because her body will close up...

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (10 November 2008):

oldfool agony auntI'm curious. Why exactly does this boyfriend specifically want to have anal sex WITHOUT LUBRICATION? Given that it's going to hurt even WITH lube, why don't you try it that way first? If the pain isn't intense enough for you, you can move on to anal intercourse WITHOUT lube and see how it feels. But take it cautiously. Pain is pain, which you don't mind -- but damage is a whole different ball game.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

Sorry Jake, but it's not scare mongering we are trying to do, the question asked specifically to give the problems that might occur with anal sex and not the benefits. That is why it's all negatives, just to prepare the lady about what might go wrong. Like other's I think that without lubrication it might not work at all. This lady might like pain, but the body defence system means she will tighten up and may not be able to do anal sex at all. That's why she needs to use lubricant the first time, this will open up her body, and like others have pointed out, the next time her partner can be more forceful and do without the lubricant. We are not advising her not to do it, we are just advising her what may go wrong as she asked us to do.

Ms anonymous, use the lube and go slow at first, it will still hurt. After he has his penis in then he can move as forcefully and painfully as you both need. The lubrication will help it go in, but it will still hurt you a lot. I hope that will be enough to turn you on. Blessings and take care of you always.

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A male reader, Jake1984 United Kingdom +, writes (7 November 2008):

These posts all sound a little 'scare-mongering'. Just play it safe first, condom and lube and then as you become more used to it you may want to try without. Im not sure it would even work without condom/lube first time without hurting you both a lot on penetration then you probably would be in less of a 'mood' - remember your in it to have fun, both of you. be safe, be happy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

Don't be so stupid. Why don't you try anal sex with libricant first, and then sure if you want to try without it then go for it. Don't be so rash to just leap in no experience no lube as besides the pain it may not even work.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (7 November 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntIt depends, how big is he, how small are you, now fragile is the skin etc etc.

Yes, it is possible to have anal sex without lube without to much damage but you got to remember that pain is a warning.

If you never even tried anal play before, I would seriously suggest you first try it REALLY slow. Maybe a finger, and see what happens.

Remember that even with lube, the experience might be painful. Some women go for that. You might be that type. But there is a difference between being stretched pain and being torn pain, except that you won't feel different until you get massive infection and have to explain to the doctor what happened.

It is possible, but only if you two are matched in size.

For a first time, use lube. If this is his first time, and he desires to hurt you, and you want it to hurt, you can use a gallon of lube and still scream. Just ask him to ram it in at once. Just make sure you keep the door open so the alerted police don't have to break it down.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (7 November 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntYou might have a look at sexinfo101.com for advice on the mechanics or google 'anal sex' in the search box in the upper right hand corner.

You might point out to your boyfriend that his skin could also become severely chafed and irritated without lube. Combine that with the fecal bacteria and you've got potential for a really icky infection.

Lube and a condom for the first time, how could that be a bad idea?

Take care.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (7 November 2008):

DoubleM agony auntPotentially very harmful.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

Use lubricant you fool.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (7 November 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntI have to agree with Diovan here, this doesn't sound like a good idea unless you have some experience with this type of sexual play. I had a quick peek at the webmd.com website and found this rather dire paragraph:

"Anorectal trauma: Trauma to your anus or rectum, in which the anal and rectal linings stretch and tear, can be a potential cause of proctitis. Health care providers usually see such trauma in people who introduce any foreign object into their rectum. Foreign objects include a penis during anal intercourse or sex toys. Tiny cracks may be seen in the anal or rectal linings. It's important to tell your health care provider if you may be at risk for this type of proctitis. Sometimes, the foreign object may still be present in the rectum. People with anorectal trauma also may have an accompanying infection as a result of high-risk sexual behavior."

Please read the entire link here: http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/proctitis. It might not be a bad idea to discuss the hypothetical question with your doctor, who is medically trained to answer questions like these.

Just think about it from a physics standpoint. You have a canal that essentially does not lubricate itself. It has a vascular lining with lots of little protrusions, microscopic, and the usual lot of internal bacteria that live happily inside us. Then you have a shaft, which aside from some precum, does not lubricate itself either. This is covered with a thin layer of skin.

It stands to reason that layer #1 being rubbed over and over again with no lubrication by layer #2 would result in severe chafing, possible tearing and bleeding. The thing is that our rectum is a nice hodge-podge of bacteria, which contained inside their usual envirnment are perfectly fine, but when they get launched into the internal spaces and the bloodstream, they can have a little field day.

Kink is fine as long as you know what you're getting into. If you've never done this before, you are going to get injured if you don't use lube. I'm not an expert in this, at all, but this seems like a VBI (very bad idea). Some of my friends are doctors, and they can tell all kinds of interesting stories, usually starting with the words, "So I had this patient that did this...." followed by some blood-curdling details. Usually the patient is reluctant to give a complete history to the doctor because he or she is embarrassed by whatever sexual practice sent the patient to the emergency room in the first place. The truth is eventually unearthed, and proper treatment can then take place. So if you do this, when you have the discussion with the doctor, make sure you tell him or her the accurate details.

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks, that helps a lot. It would be a little uncomfortable to talk to my doctor though, where might I be able to ask an expert on anal sex?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

I'm no expert on anal sex it's not something I enjoy. From what I understand from the links below, you risk bleeding, tearing and hemorrhoids, as well as risking infection and and STD's. Anal sex is not really recommended practice and definitely not recommended without a condom. Your partner could cause you to have difficulty having bowel movements maybe for life. As I said, I'm no expert. The recommended advice is to use a condom and use lubrication to make things easier for you. This part of the body is very delicate and I suggest that use lubrication unless you get a doctors advice to tell you that all is well..

If you like pain with your sex, then think of something else to do instead to give you the "kink" that you need. Since you've not had anal sex before, please, please, please use lubrication and go slow the first time. Once you have done that, I'm sure the next time, you'll be more open and can forget about using lubrication. I definitely would not suggest that anyone take the risk of anal sex with lubrication for the first time. But please contact a doctor for more advice, or one of the many BDSM sites on the Internet. I believe that you could damage yourself badly, and you may become incontinent, so find something else to do instead.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/potential-problems-deriving-from-anal-sex-apart-from.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-gf-cannot-have-proper-bowel-movemnts-after.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-are-some-complications-that-can-arise-from.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/potential-problems-deriving-from-anal-sex-apart-from.html

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I am not 13-15, It should be 20-25. I'm 21. My boyfriend is 22. And I am aware that it will hurt badly, I'm a little kinky... I just need to know if it is possible without causing me serious damage that might require medical assistance.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

You present as aged 13-15 (under age) and currently living in Azerbaijan. In your country the age of consent is 16 and you shouldn't be having sex at all. Your question is very stupid. You shouldn't be having anal sex, let alone sex without lubricant. The pain of anal sex is unbearable, if you don't use something he will rip you and cause you great pain. Search this board for anal sex, and you will hear stories of women who have been forced to go to the doctor because they were hurt. You are a silly little girl wasting our time with your stupid fantasies. I don't know why I'm bothering to answer this question, because nobody on earth could be stupid enough to want anal sex and make it hurt.... Go and talk to your parents, ask their advice and see what they say.

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A female reader, michele21 United States +, writes (7 November 2008):

michele21 agony auntumm first of all how old are you??? and how old is your boyfriend yall don't need to be having sex at all at the age you are. but you need to use lube or have something or else its going to hurt you badly

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