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Anal sex is painful for my wife but I like it. Advice please!

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Question - (2 September 2007) 21 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2008)
A male Pakistan age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Anal sex is painful for my wife but I like it. Is there any way to have anal sex without hurting my wife?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008):

i doubt it especially for the first few times think about it if u were her would u be able to handle it but i seriously doubt ur gonna do it without hurting her its like taking a virginity then once they get use to it u know no big deal but u can try doin it as painless as possible by using a lot of lubericate and very very slow movements get her use to it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008):

Read the book 'How to win Heart of your wife' and your thoughts will change.

http://www.howtowin.in/free-books/how-to-win-heart-of-your-wife/index.html

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

why don't you let her sodomize you with a dildo if you want anal so bad?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008):

if it is painfull then u should use some high quality lubricant to give her high quality sex,but it is very beter to avoid it and use the right way .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007):

If she doesn't like it and isn't willing to try it again don't pressure her or she will think you are an insensitive jerk. If you both agree to try again try AstroGlide lubricant, the anus is not self-lubricating, so you will want to apply the lubricant liberally. As you begin to insert your penis have her push out(this will relax the anus) as if she were going to the bathroom. If you feel her anus contract and tense up... STOP and WAIT for it to relax before pushing it in any further. The only reason anal sex would be painful is if a) there is not enough lubricant or b) the woman isn't relaxed. Good Luck! It feels great and hopefully your woman will come around to it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007):

Why Anal sex? Whats wrong with the orifice nature intended?. Curiously, legally in the UK anal sex is allowed if the "receiver" is a man but is illegal with a girl/women. If your wife doesnt like it--dont do it.

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A female reader, Beonca_Loves_You United States +, writes (30 November 2007):

Okay....For 1 if it's hurting her you need to stop if she is ready, she'll tell you. Don't rush her, thats the last thing I'd do if I were you. The first time I tried it I hurt for weeks. Eventually she'll come around to it. Don't worry you'll get what you want, just don't pressure her. And whatever you do it's not worth leaving her over it. If you're sleeping with her, then you should have feelings for her outside the bedrroom.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007):

My wife and I tried twice 25 years ago and it hurt her and she hated it. We never tried again. Why try when one partner doesn't like it. You might want to try another lube, but only if she is willing to agree.

Eyeswideopen and girlwhoneedshelp's postings are completely correct. My wife loves me to use her other 2 orifices and we are both very happy. There is no need to hurt her. That may just turn her off against all sex if you are not caring.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007):

Well i think if its hurting her to the point that she doesn't want it to happen or she doesn't want to try anymore and your just forceing her to do it then i think u should step back for a minute and ask youself: whats more important to you, 'your relationship with your wife' or 'five minutes of painful pleasure that your wifes gona have to go through'?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007):

I had the same trouble with my wife. I purchased astro glide lubricant. we now enjoy good anal sex. use the right lube and plenty of it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007):

The simple answer to your question is 'Yes there is'.

Go find someone else that might enjoy it.

Phil

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (5 September 2007):

Buy her a device and plenty of lube. Let her practice at he own pace with her in control. After awhile she may change her mind. Go slow.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007):

I like it very very very much.I want to do only anal sex with female

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007):

People have differnt sizes so this is not somethings that is even possible for some people.

Obviously you are to large or her anus to small.

Why would you want to do somthing that hurts her?

I feel bad for your wife dont hurt her any more.

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (4 September 2007):

deejuliet agony auntI HATE and I mean HHHAAATTTEEE anal sex. I used to just dislike it, but my husband always liked it and even though it was painful to me and I didnt want to do it he would insist. I would tell him no over and over and he would tell me how much I (not him - I!) wanted it and was ready for it. He ended up raping me to get what he wanted. The first time he did it I cried and cried and almost called the police. He aplogized and promiced it wouldnt happen again. But it did happen again, over and over. Then, even if I tried to do it voluntarily I would end up crying and trying to get away. He got more and more violent and hurt me severely. Now we are divorced and I will NEVER have anal sex again.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007):

Dont. Try only if your two fingers go or else dont try so early.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007):

Hi for some people this can be very painful unless shes willing to keep trying she wont loosen up. But please remember your wifes feelings as this is something sensitive

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 September 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntAre you having sex or are you making love? If you are making love to your wife you will do anything and everything to please her. If anal sex doesn't, then quit it. Why do you want anal sex anyway, just curious?

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A female reader, girlwhoneedshelp United Kingdom +, writes (2 September 2007):

girlwhoneedshelp agony auntThis isn't very fair. Just because you like it doesn't mean you should be looking for another way to do it. If it hurts your wife then leave her alone and appreciate the other "two" entrances to her body that are less painful and more suitable for her!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007):

There's no real way to get around it... if it's painful for her, it's painful.

If she's willing, you could try different positions because, depending on your size, some positions may be less intrusive for her.

There's:

* her lying on her side / you behind her

* her lying face down / you above

* her on knees / you behind

* her on back with legs behind head / you in front

Just whatever you try, do use lube & make sure you take it slow & stop whenever it's getting a bit much for her.

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (2 September 2007):

love-him agony aunthi, use plenty of lube, but if she realy dislikes it, then you realy shouldnt be doin it.. hope i helped, mail me if u wanna talk x x

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