| A ,
kates
writes: I'm having some problem with my boyfriend. I think he is taking me for granted and has no respect for me. For example, he plans to do something with me then he changes his mind for his friends. Obviously I go mad. Is this right and am I wrong here? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): I am in the same situation. I'm in Iraq and all I ask my boyfriend to do is call at a decent time. Now I'm getting tired of him although I love him more than I've ever loved any man. It's only so much that you should take. If you're not getting what you want then you have to let what's making you unhappy go. It may hurt for awhile but it's better to let it go now before you fall deeper in love and then he ends up doing the same thing or worse. Why can't you be the most important thing in his life, why can't you come first? What's keeping him from you? Another girl, his friends. If he changes his mind that easily to go with his friend what will he do if another new girl ask him to go out, do you think he'll say no to her? If he's not giving you what you want then show him what he'll be missing if he doesn't get it right. Stop calling, let him call you, do him the same way. Tell him you want to go somewhere and then change your mind and say you're going out with your friends. Then see how he will feel about that. But whatever you do I hope you make the best decision for yourself. We deserve to be happy also.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008): They are a--holes, forget about them, its like carrying a junk in your bag, excess baggages only gives burden in your life,..let it go, you deserve someone better
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): augh. having the same problems. i feel your pain :S but i agree with what eelyam said: i think sometimes guys just have no clue that they're doing anything to upset us. they really are quite stupid...
I really want to talk to my boyfriend about it but i feel like i'm making something out of nothing. and I'm pretty terrible at bringing up problems. I always end up messing up what i want to say. I also agree with what an anoynmous reader said: maybe back off a little bit and dont be so available to him. Then he might come to his senses. well thats what i hope will happen with my boyfriend anyway.. haha. good luck pal!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): Yes, she has every right to be upset. Being taken for granted is an awful feeling. When you sit back and think over all things you do for him and all you want is the same in return and he is willing to drop you for his friends. He has it in his mind "Oh she will still be there, I will make it up to her by being nice the next day"
If you back off alittle bit and not be so available to him. You will be amazed of how quick he will turn around and wonder what is going on the you. then you will know if you have a relationship that is worth keeping.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): I feel that same way! I do a lot of stuff for my boyfriend but it seems like it's never enough. I approach it in many different ways. IT is not 100% efective but they help me keep the focus off the fact that am utterly pissed off at him. But the best approach is tell him what the problem is, or just stop doing those things for him. If you put an immediate stop to things then he will realize that you do help him out a lot.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Please, look in the mirror and realize that you are a wonderful person and don't deserve to have anyone treat you like that. Tell your boyfriend that you need to feel important or you're leaving. If he doesn't stop choosing his friends over you, find someone who will give you the respect that you deserve.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2006): Of course your right to feel upset! I think you should talk to him about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2006): guys are just jerks
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (29 June 2005):
You are right! If you have been going out for more than a couple of months then you should be his priority.......not his friends, if he wanted to hang out with his friends so much he should have remained single, give him an ultimatum and sort this out once and for all!
...............................
A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (28 June 2005):
 Being disrespected and taken for granted is painful for a woman to endure. No one has the "right" to treat you this way. You have the "right" to be treated with kind human regard. You need to talk with him and tell him to stop. He's hurting you...it is abuse. If he doesn't then you have to ask yourself...do you want a future with a man who treats you badly? It likely won't get better until he matures and grows up. This isn't true love. You deserve so much more. Deep abiding respect, compassion, loving support and committment are all part of a healthy, long lasting relationship. He needs to realize this..if he doesn't..call it a day.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2005): You never said if you do your own thing with friends, or how often he does this to you. If he keeps on doing it to you, you go out and enjoy yourself and enjoy the time alone; you don't have to be tied together to enjoy, or even ask if you can join in with what him and his friends are doing, or even plan a get together / party to meet all his friends and him to meet yours. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, The compassionist +, writes (28 June 2005):
Hi you have every right to be upset,personally I'd be offended and if he cant keep arrangemnts maybe he no long wishes to be in your company.
...............................
A
reader, eelyam +, writes (28 June 2005):
Dear Upset I think that feeling upset is very normal. You probably try and do special little things for him and he doesn't even bother to say thank you, never mind reciprocate. But before you make a mountain out of a molehill TELL HIM what is bothering you because - no offence to the guys out there - but half the time they don't even know what they are standing on never mind that they are your feelings.
...............................
|
