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Am I wrong to be in love with my best friend?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *lackHeart24 writes:

Dear Cupid,

I really need your help it's about me and my bestfriend of 4 years. We first met in middle school and it was love at first sight we immediatly clicked after months of talking we began dating. We dated on and off through middle school and each time we would break up with our new significant others we would go right back to each other. I realized that I was in love with him when I would smile everytime someone mentioned his name and that every dream I had was about him. We decided to get back together and stay together for good this time, but lately he's neglecting me, he'll tell me one thing and do the complete. I've started thinking am I wrong to fall in love with my bestfriend

View related questions: best friend, get back together

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A female reader, BlackHeart24 United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

BlackHeart24 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

BlackHeart24 agony auntI thank all those that sended replies and who gave me some advice. As of right now I know for a fact that he's in love with me anyone that would put themselves in harm's way to protect me is defintely the real thing. Being that he's slightly emo(he's NOT suicidal) it's hard for him to let me know how he feels directly so I can understand, but he knows that I love him but I think that I'm also his friend I've been raised that in a relationship that your bf/gf is your friend also so I think he needs to remember that I'm his friend too

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A female reader, Zuni United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

Zuni agony auntDating a best friend is hard, because everything between the two of you will only be that much more intense, because you trust each other as friends and as a couple. Tell him how much you love him and what you are currently feeling. Explain to him that you don't want this to hurt your relationship. Ask him if anything is wrong, he could be having problems at school or with his family, if thats happening that might explain the lack of neglect and how he says one thing and does the other. Because what he might think is protecting you is actually hurting you. Let him know your there for him, and are always there to talk, or even just listen. Guys can be insecure too. There is nothing wrong falling in love with your best friend, just make sure that if it doesn't work out that the two of you can still maintain that close friend relationship.

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A male reader, $izZle India +, writes (1 October 2010):

$izZle agony auntEh! I had the same thing happen to me so I know how you feel ... I fell in love with my best friend and she told me that she loves me too but when she told me that she was pregnant then :( and she came to me cried and told me that she told me that she loves me but she cant coz she is pregnant ...and wants the baby to have his natural father ...

All I can tell you at this time is to have some faith and be patient spend some time with him in some new activity ...

maybe he is just getting distracted....whatever it is just clear it out with him coz I don't want you to end up like me loosing your best friend/love I know that pain and I don't want any1 to have that ever... :(

you just need to remind him that you love him and that he loves you too .... good luck....

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A female reader, MeShell United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

MeShell agony auntI can't give you any advice, but I can tell you that you are not alone....I'm in the same predicament! I'm in love with my best friend too and no matter what he says I just always feel so alive when he tells me something. And it's hard to be in love with your best friend...honestly? Everyone sometime in their life falls for their best friend. I wish you good luck and hope you get your happy ending with him! :) And me...I'll just keep working on mine too! :)

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A female reader, SleepyMaddy United States +, writes (1 October 2010):

SleepyMaddy agony auntWell, i know that must be frustrating but are you sure you really love him? Is it worth you feeling neglected and upset whenever he ignores you or something? Judging by how you guys get together often I'd have to say that if you choose not to continue with the relationship you guys would end up friends still- which is rare. Do you know if he is head over heels for you? Or at least amost there?

how long has he been neglecting you? Have you guys done something unusual together or argued? It could explain his coldness. Plus, you have to think about the fact he may not be ready for the kinda relationship your suggesting.

Best of luck!

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