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Am I totally crazy for "loving" someone I've never seen, and who lives in another country, and he has a Gf?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Gay relationships, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2015)
A male United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Ok, this will be a long story so forgive me. So, I am a 20 year old gay male and I've played this online game for years now and like 2 months ago I met 2 really nice people, a male and a female.

Over these 2 months I've grown pretty close to them, which I always thought having meaningful relationships online were stupid and weren't important.

I have gotten feelings for the guy that I really wish I hadn't. I've only heard his voice once in a Skype call and have never seen his face.

He doesn't know how I feel because he likes this girl, which means he is straight, so I didn't want to tell him and jeopardize the friendship.

However, I feel very jealous and left out when he's around her. I talked to the female friend about it and she kinda feels left out as well.

She kinda knows about my orientation and she said she wouldn't tell.

I just need someone to tell me I am totally crazy for "loving" someone I've never seen and who lives in another country; I live in USA, so even if he was gay, a relationship just wouldn't work anyway. How do I get over him?

View related questions: jealous, online game

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIt's not love. It's infatuation. You are infatuated with a "fantasy" character (how you THINK this guy really is, not the real him - as you honestly DO NOT know him that well).

What do you do? Having a crush/infatuation with someone you don't know is not a rare thing, how to get over them can be a little harder. 1. you could avoid him a while, cut the contact. 2. OR you can accept that he is straight and thus... not a viable "romance" option.

If I was you I'd be a little more careful what you disclose to the female (you don't know her either) and if she is interested in the dude as well, she can easily use it for HER benefit at some point.

I play (and have played) several MMO's for the last 14 years and made a LOT of friends from gaming. So maybe consider making friends instead of looking for romance?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2015):


This might sound harsh or something, but if you feel left out, then tell him how you feel.

If he doesn't feel the same way and gets "scared" or rejects you and he's straight... well move on. What's the use if you hang around in the air with a "friendship" like that?

The fact that you never saw what he looks like, I think you won't really lose anything. There are other people out there that you can be friends with. Like for instance that female friend you also met.

Life can be harsh, and if you want to know how to get over him. Well it'll take time of course. Time will heal. Later on you will forget him.

Hopes this helps. Good luck

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