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Am I too young?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2005) 26 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2010)
A female , anonymous writes:

Do you think 13 is too young to have a boyfriend?

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A female reader, Violetrosewalker United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2010):

In my opinion, no thirteen isn't too young. But it also counts on how mature you are about the relationship. I mean I think thirteen is quite young to have a SERIOUS relationship. When I was thirteen I had a boyfriend, and we dated for almost a year, but like many people have already said, guys don't really mature as fast as girls. So therefor the guy might not care as much as you do about the relationship.

But sweetie, all I am going to say is, think about it, do you feel that YOU are really mature enough for a boyfriend. And be careful, don't give your life away for one boy when you are just thirteen.

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A female reader, Queen C South Africa +, writes (5 June 2009):

Switty Im now 20. I started dating at 18. Its all bcoz I was told dat boyz r harmful & I had to play far frm them. Guess what?...That has costed me two relationships so far bcoz Im still scared,I never feel comfortable enough with a boyfriend.13 yrs is way too young for relationships but I'd advice you to hook up with boys so that you get used to them. Dont call whatever you have a "relationship" bcoz the boy might have some expectations. Always leave a room 4 dissapointments(dont b too trusting)...Most of all dont foget your girl power in whatever you do ....Gudluck.lol.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

No.......I don't think 13 is too young to have a boyfriend. I am 13 and I have one. But when you are a young teen, your hormones start to kick in, and you will want to date people. You just have to be careful about what type of guy you choose. Don't pick one that is rude or mean, even if he is cute, because he'll just end up using you..... try to find a guy that likes you for you, and do't rush things......

?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008):

no of course not i say go for him and dont screw up like i did! you will regret it big time trust me!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007):

in response to your question i think 13 is too young because i dated a guy who was 13 and he dumped me three weeks later when i did nothing wrong and now i know boys dont know how to manage a relationship at that age,but i dont mind if you think im wrong,just be carefull and whatever you do,dont rush things at the beginning of a new relationship because it wont last as long as you think it will,just take it slow at the begining ok

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007):

actually, love is never based on age

age can never affect love

because if someones falls for someone

they cant just stop loving someone

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007):

Well I think that 13 is a little young to be in a really seriuos relationship but i don't see any harm in going out on dates, getting to know guys, going out for a good time.

But don't go out with a guy just because he likes you, if you don't like him, you are not obligated to go out with him(or her^^) But if you really like someone that you know and are comfortable with, and they happen to like you too then i say go for it. It could turn out to be a really good ecperience,you'll never know if you don't give it a try!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007):

to be honest i dont think its too young as im thirteen and im with a 16 year old boy, its your life and if you want a boyfriend, go for it girl, you only live once and if your parents are protective over you just explain that you are more grown up and things like that!! thats the nice way, the other way is that its your life but that sometimes does not go down well x hope everything sorts its self out and if u need a chat add [email deleted] on msn xx Hayli xx

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2006):

willywombat agony auntNo. Keep it innocent with just a kiss or a bit of petting at the most. Enjoy each others company and first and foremost be friends.x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2006):

i'm thirteen

My friends were all dating or having crushes(they date b4 and crush on our seniors now)

i think that(no offence)its ok that we date,just dun think that u going to married him /her or something like that

we r teenagers now n i think we should enjoy and cherish the time we have 4 dating

when we got older and get married ..we cant date!

in my opinion just do what u 1(with parent's consent or at least let them know about it)

In my school is normal to have a boyfriend but i get freak out when ppl at my age pop up with a guy.still need time to get used to it

im a freshmen in secondary school

my country ppl go to sec school or high school as what we called in sg around 13 years old sort of different.

so just have fun but just don't go too over board

all wording no offence

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2006):

Yes, but most people I know that are 13 and are dating, but maybe I just might think that, because I don't have a boyfrien!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2005):

no way! i'm really in with my boyfriend and i'm just 12! I've gone pretty far with him but it can really be regretful... my advice is don't get too close couse it hurts when you split.. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005):

Of course you should get a boyfriend!!! I'm surprized you dont have one already!! You are 13 years old!! It's not like your going to run off and have sex with some guy!! you might think about it, but at 13, do you think you would ever actually go through with it?? I DONT THINK SO!! Parents will tell you to be back by 10:00 when you go out, they know where your going, and thats it!! So what if you kiss?? ITS JUST A KISS!! But the older you get, the more your parents are going to give you "the talk" but its just so they will know youre safe from anything you might not want to happen. but all you should do is JUST HAVE FUN!! thats what being in a relationship is all about. actually, at your age, most people just want a boyfriend to say they have one!!but you dont have to be like that. you could get a really good friend out of it!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2005):

I think 13 is too young, I have a 'almost 13' yr. old son who wants to have a girlfriend and I've told him not until he is 14 atleast. I think having boys or girls as friends is very important at your age but not someone you call a boyfriend. This might just make you miss out on so many other things in life.

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A female reader, QOTU +, writes (23 October 2005):

QOTU agony aunt13 is a nice age to have an INNOCENT relationship. I wouldn't suggest sex, because that's illegal at 13, but if you keep it mutual, like just holding hands, going out together, MAYBE kissing a little (hey, you gotta learn somewhere!), then sure. Start slow.

But remember - you have your whole life ahead of you. Make sure you stay careful. And, most importantly, HAVE FUN! :-D Boyfriends aren't the most important elements in life - Why have Boyfriends when you also have Girlfriends? :-P

Take Care,

QOTU.

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A female reader, centaur_girl +, writes (21 October 2005):

Don't rush into anything. As you get older you will want to experiment and everything but don't just have a boyfriend because everyone else has. At 13, you don't know what love really means *as my drama teacher so nicely explaned* so don't give your life to a guy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005):

When I was 13 I wanted to have a boyfriend and my Mum wouldn't let me, she said I should wait until I am 14. I resented her for this and went behind her back and had a relationship with an older boy. I understand my Mum now. I am 27 but I can remember being 13. It was a time when I discovered who I am as a person and I started to want to make decisions for myself without my parents. The truth was I wasn't really ready but my curiousity got the better of me and I wanted to be a grown up. So i had a boyfriend and my parents worried sick about what he would get me into. They worried I would get pregnant but I never went that far. I smoked ,got drunk and rebelled against my parents. I am not suggesting you do any of these things but I am going to suggest whatever you do - respect yourself, be careful and pick your boyfriends carefully. You are about to embark on your teenage years and the decisions you make can effect the rest of your life. Have fun and enjoy being a kid, and enjoy the excitement of growing into a woman. Look after your body and soul.

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A reader, schlottjl United States +, writes (18 October 2005):

schlottjl agony auntAre you asking because a parent said that you were and are you trying to find out if they are unfair? (At your age I would and wonder...)

If your parents have said you are not allowed, they are problably saying you are too young to date and have a romance. You can probably be friends with boys and could even have a school yard best friend. I think all kids are too young to be with only one person. You do that when you are almost married and at least old enough to marry.

A lot of girls your age want to get a cute boyfriend and it seems everyone else gets too. But you might not believe this but the boys are not anywhere near as mature as you are. I have a 13 year old son and i do my best to explain how much different girls look at dating when young. He just gets gross.

Now I am 35 and have had that moment in time where I wish I could go back and be my own mom. The only thing I would want my 13-20 year old self to know is that Boys are no where in the same universe as girls.

Since you should have some practice with the boys before you are old enough to date, you should ask about a small boy- girl outing with one parent that goes along but keeps a distance. I used to go three girls and three boys to the movies and my mom and my friends mom went too but it wasn't like we even went together. They felt better and we have good practice in dating situations.

If you are mature enough to follow your parents instruction without conflict, and if you are creative and trustworthy in your approach to this, maybe your problems are solved. But knowing what I know now, no one should have a boyfriend until they are self supporting. They can and should hang out and even date, just don't lock in on any one person when the world if full of cute guys that need to learn to respect women. They respect those who they have to try hard to get. A dimond would just be a rock with no value if it was not rare and hard to get. There-in lies your value.

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A reader, schlottjl United States +, writes (18 October 2005):

schlottjl agony auntAre you asking because a parent said that you were and are you trying to find out if they are unfair? (At your age I would and wonder...)

If your parents have said you are not allowed, they are problably saying you are too young to date and have a romance. You can probably be friends with boys and could even have a school yard best friend. I think all kids are too young to be with only one person. You do that when you are almost married and at least old enough to marry.

A lot of girls your age want to get a cute boyfriend and it seems everyone else gets too. But you might not believe this but the boys are not anywhere near as mature as you are. I have a 13 year old son and i do my best to explain how much different girls look at dating when young. He just gets gross.

Now I am 35 and have had that moment in time where I wish I could go back and be my own mom. The only thing I would want my 13-20 year old self to know is that Boys are no where in the same universe as girls.

Since you should have some practice with the boys before you are old enough to date, you should ask about a small boy- girl outing with one parent that goes along but keeps a distance. I used to go three girls and three boys to the movies and my mom and my friends mom went too but it wasn't like we even went together. They felt better and we have good practice in dating situations.

If you are mature enough to follow your parents instruction without conflict, and if you are creative and trustworthy in your approach to this, maybe your problems are solved. But knowing what I know now, no one should have a boyfriend until they are self supporting. They can and should hang out and even date, just don't lock in on any one person when the world if full of cute guys that need to learn to respect women. They respect those who they have to try hard to get. A dimond would just be a rock with no value if it was not rare and hard to get. There in lies your value.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2005):

there is nothing wrong with a boyfriend at 13. just mak sure u spend time with ur friends too as they r the ones who will always be there. i had my first BF at 12, but i still put my mates first.

you arent too young so go have a gr8 time

hope thishelps. x x x x x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2005):

not at all most people start earler having boyfriends if you like someone you go girl dont wait around cos he will be taken

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2005):

Spend time being 13 hang with your friends have fun like all 13 year olds should do there is plenty of time for a boyfriend dont waste your childhood worrying about having a boyfriend and dealing with the worries that come with having a boyfriend.

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A female reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (16 October 2005):

In a way, 13 is a bit too young, but when we turn into teens, our whole body changes, therefore we experiment with different things. It's best to have boys for friends than boyfriends, and to be a bit older when having a proper relationship with a boy.

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A female reader, not again +, writes (16 October 2005):

I was 19 when I had my first real boyfriend (and sex... which i hope you're not thinking of for ages!) and sometimes I even feel that was too young!

Have fun with boys as friends, that is important, but don't let anything happen til you're way older or you will regret it. If you wait til you really like someone (andf they like you) you will never regret it! xx

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (16 October 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntThirteen would be my rock-bottom age limit for hanging out with the other sex, and even then, it would be conditional on the activity and on the level of supervision. So I'd say that 13's not too young - not necessarily, not in all cases - but speaking generally, it's almost pointless to have a boyfriend at that age.

At 13, you're only just discovering boys (or girls) and still have the emotional outlook of a child. It's too easy for your heart to get broken or to have a slightly-more savvy person take advantage of you. It's too easy to get lured into activities that you're just not equipped to handle. When that happens, it's scary, it's confusing and it can lead to real problems.

In addition, when you're at this in-between age the most critical thing in your life is getting the best possible education. Dating, and all the confusing emotions that go along with it, are a terrible and unnecessary distraction.

Furthermore, the point of having boyfriends and girlfriends is to see who you might be suited to marry and/or spend the rest of your life with. If you look around at the long-term couples around on the planet, you won't find many old-timers who've been together since they were thirteen.

Most people date many others before they settle down, and most serious relationships don't start until you're late in your teens or early 20s. That's because trying to pick a good boy- (or girl-) friend when you don't have any life experience is as impossible as comparing the relative merits of new cars before you learn how to drive.

Better to have guys as friends and associates, as project partners and team members, and put the whole dating scene on the back burner for a little while. There's plenty of time for dating. Why would you need to hurry? You need to know what you want out of life and what you expect of a partner before you can tell who you're suited to and make good choices.

Remember this: just because a boy likes you doesn't mean you have to like him back. Just because he wants to kiss doesn't mean you have to want to kiss him, either.

At 13, you should enjoy the company of boys as friends. Sure, there will probably be quite a few that you fancy, but those crushes disappear as quickly as they start. Socialise with both boys and girls and get to know them as people first, before you start worrying about boyfriends.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2005):

yes, you should not worry about having a boyfriend at that age, instead have fun while you can

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