A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there aunts and uncles I am back again!! I really need your help to save my relationship from myself. My partner just bought me the most beautiful puppy to keep me company (although I work 45 hours pw) I was getting bery broody and needed someone to look after. Me and my partner had a fantastic relationship we are in love have great communication and stay together every night I have honestly never been this happy. We have been together just over a year but since we got the puppy I'm like a totally different person. I am always tense and stressed and have to be with him all the time and won't let anyone touch him. My partner and I work different shifts so there is always someone with him (just incase you think the pup is lonely) he took the puppy to visit his family and friends today and I was absolutely livid. The feeling of jealous was overbearing and it took everything in my will not to hit him. I didn't shout wither. I just walked away and cried just pure anger. I just don't understand why? I feel like he should be mine and only mine and no one should be able to touch/speak to him. The main problem with this is we are trying for a baby next year and if I'm like this with my pup I can imagine this will be 10 times worse. I won't be able to leave the babies side or let anyone touch them. What can I do? Is there anyone who's ever been through this? I do go to councelling once a week and explained this just to be told its unreasonable jealousy (which I know myself) but I just want to know why I feel like this and how to stop. ? Thanks for your help x
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 July 2012):
 Look in to your childhood and see if you can recognise anything that would make you feel like this. It seems you have a problem with sharing, and yes I would imagine that it will be ten times worse with a baby of your own. I guess you just need to learn to share the experience of looking after the puppy and allowing other people to enjoy its company as well.
I think you really need to learn to control these feelings before you think of having a child because it could drive your relationship to end. The best thing to do is to just try and fight these feelings, yes it will be hard. But you need to try and let them go. Ask your boyfriend to take the puppy to see his family more often, tell yourself it is good for the puppy to have plenty of people to fuss over it and spoil it.
When you do have children then hopefully you can realise that even though you are there mother it is good to have other people to be involved as well, think of it as a blessing that your child has lots of people who love them and want to be part of there life, and always remember that no matter what you will be there mother and nobody can take that away from you. If your counsellor is not helping maybe try and switch to someone else. good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2012): Being a first time mom myself, I'm crazy about my daughter! She is 10 months but I feel weird when people hold her, like you said mine mine mine! But you have to realize your position is not up for grabs, no one can take away a bond that you two have whether its a puppy or a baby.
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