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male
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 10 months. We are both in Grade 12 and just finished our major exams. We got together last week and ended up have anal sex. I have been giving him oral sex for a while but as of yet we havent had proper sex. Im still a virgin and i want to be like that until i get married. Am I still a virgin if i have anal sex?
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anal sex, oral sex, still a virgin Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007): No. Your virginity and virtue are compromised. Engaging in any sort of touching, petting, means virtue is in question and oral and penetration sex means virginity is no longer something you have.
Please don't equate this with you are no longer a good person. Stop having sex and oral sex now if you wish to remain virtuous for your marriage.
When you say married, is it to another man? What is marriage to you? What is your role in it? What do you expect from your partner, want them to be a virgin? Virtuous?
What you expect and want from another, you should do your best to be that as well.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2007): i hope so... cos its the same with me... ive done both of those... and want to be a virgin til im married-mainly cos of my faith... if its about faith for u then(or perhaps just so it special), and u really find it hard not to have ordinary sex-- then it shows your giving something up.. to wait for the right person.. so in that sence i guess you are a virgin :)
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (21 September 2006):
 I don't think you are but technically I would like to know why you are worried abut such a thing are you to marry a very religious person?scared of pregnancy?I think you shouldn't care about it but about your age your question is proper of a very young person, maybe you should better be going shopping or cinema etc... if you r as innocent as to ve worried about virginity after anal intercourse
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (21 September 2006):
 Mystic_Helper that is not entirely true, a girls hymen can be ruptured way before she has intercourse, e.g from rigorous physical activity such as horseriding etc. Anal sex is intercourse, its just another formof intercourse, its just not the conventional way of having sex, or not in my book anyway.
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A
female
reader, Charmedone +, writes (20 September 2006):
 no you are not a virgin how else are gay males supposed to have sex (didn't mean that in an offensive way)
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A
female
reader, mystic_helper +, writes (20 September 2006):
well actually, having intercourse is breaking the hymen in front of the vagina, which is in a case a womans virginity. if a penis does not enter the vagina, she is virgin. anal sex is much more personal, but does not go into the vagina, so therefore you a virgin
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (20 September 2006):
Wendyg has a point actually, perhaps the poster is female? That would make more sense in terms of them wanting to save themselves for marriage, unless they are homosexual and want to get married?
Dear question poster: Are you male or female? Thanks. xXx
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (20 September 2006):
 Im wondering if this person is female and ticked the wrong box ? per chance ?
In which case if you are a female technically you are still a virgin until you have had vaginal sex. But why you would do anal sex with someone and not vaginal is beyond me as anal has got to be far more of a personal intimate thing between a man and a woman, thought that would come after vaginal sex.. but then what do I know! anyway thats assuming you are a female of course and the reason I do think you are female is you mention "proper sex" and I took that to mean and I think thats what you were meaning as vaginal sex ?
Im thinking though that if you are male you must know that men have anal sex and thats the only sex other than oral they can have, so dont know what "proper sex " would mean in that circumstance, so you would already know that as a male to male then no your are not a virgin.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (20 September 2006):
Perhaps I should elaborate, the definition of virgin is:
"one who has not had sex"
You have had sex, therefore you cannot possibly be a virgin, some may then ask "well I have had oral sex but not intercourse" am I a virgin, well if we want to get technical yes you are in that case, but in my view, you are not chaste anymore.
There is no chance of you being a virgin before marriage, you have already lost it now.
Also, I must be right in assuming you are homosexual, well if that was the case, all homosexual men have anal sex, so that means all gay men would be virgins if they never have sex with a woman!! Can you see my point? xxx
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (20 September 2006):
No you are not a virgin.
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A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (20 September 2006):
 Sorry just realised you are a male. No - you are not a virgin.
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A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (20 September 2006):
I agree with Camille.
TECHNICALLY you are a virgin, but I personally think that is rubbish, to be honest.
Some religious people choose to have anal sex, believing they still remain virgins. But come on - it's pretty ludicrous really - You're far from being a virgin, in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (20 September 2006):
 Erm, I know I'm female but what other kind of sex is there for a gay male? Or do I take it you're bi and you want to get married to a woman in the future? I would say regardless of what role you took in your anal sex (if you know what I mean?), you've had sex and so are not a virgin. With male/female sex it's easy to know that when a man's put his penis inside a vagina, he's not a virgin, so why would it not be the same for a man if giving or taking a penis? I'm more concerned with whether you are actually 100% gay and hoping that you're not, that would be a far bigger issue for you to think about.
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