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Am I still a virgin? We had anal sex.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 October 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2009)
A male United States age 22-25, *olostick23 writes:

I'm a freshman in at a catholic school college and I am catholic. I want to save myself for marriage, but one night me and this girl (we were both drunk) went to my room and started making out. One thing led to another and our cloths were off. I didn't have a condom so in the heat of the moment i told her to turn around and I stuck it in her butt. I went for a while until she said to stop because it was hurting her. She blew me on and off from then, but I didn't cum. Am I still a virgin? I don't think so because we didn't have vaginal sex and I did not spill my seed. Is this a reasonable statement or am I in denial?Please be harsh, i need to know the truth. (BTW it was consensual on both parts)

View related questions: anal sex, condom, drunk, still a virgin, vagina

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A male reader, Intrigued40s United States +, writes (3 January 2009):

By now, you pretty much figure that virginity has a broad defitintion and each individual is entitled to the part that finds in agreement with. To me, like in the old times virginity is the state of celibacy until married. And celibacy would mean lack of sexual relationships. We know that a sexual act starts in the mind and to be celibacy would imply to have a clean mind wich in our society is very uncomon now a days. Just look at the internet. It is flooded with sex and that is what the people in general wants't to have available. We can say then that virginity is in extingtion. It is a concept that has change over the decades and is turning into BS so just stop pretending that you want to be a virgin. Live your life without lies and you would feel more free. Of course you can choose to be a lier and create the world you want to live on and bring others to that one. Until they find the truth they may want what yo offer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008):

Agree with the Aunts below, who state you lost your virginity. In my personal opinion here, it doesn't matter if you pentrated anally or vaginally. You had a "first time sexual experience" where penetration was involved in another person's body meaning the genetalia region or "thereabouts" (you catch my drift?). . It's more the older, traditional way of thinking that says, a guy loses their virginity through first time vaginal intercourse only. Not true, anymore.

Anal sex is a big part of human sexuality. as vaginal sex is, and it's predominant with people of all sexual orientations, (hetero, homosexuals,etc). In the gay world, I would think 'anal sex' would be considered a person's way of losing one's virginity. So I feel the old fashioned notion of losing one's virginity through vaginal intercourse, has been forever altered. And yes, if you penetrated a woman's body, anally or vaginally, you had your first sex act...you, my friend, are no longer a virgin. Now, this is just the way I view it. As for safe sex...make sure you always, always, always use a condom when having penetrative sex, with special care taken when having anal sex. Lots of bateria and not so fun germs harbor themselves, in there. You said she 'blew you' on and off afterwards'. Please never allow a drunk female to 'blow you' after you've just been up her butt...use your head, go clean up and then do the oral sex thing, but not before you are totally clean and fresh. Think of her safety, too.

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (28 October 2008):

OMG use a condom! how could you even go there without a condom, you can get STD's and give STD's through anal sex. HIV is a big one to think about.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008):

Yeah, there's no black and white when it comes to virginity. If you still consider yourself a virgin then that's all that counts. Whether or not you did some chick anally in a fit of drunken lust is irrelevant if you want it to be. I'm a believer in the signifance of orifice selection :p If it's not vaginal, it's not losing your virginity. Cos then what orifice do we stop at- is oral, ear, eye, nose sex losing your virginity? Why then should anal be(frankly I would NEVER go there so I'm maybe a bit biased/out of touch)? In the end, it all comes down to how you feel; but if my opinion is anything to go by then no, whilst you had a sexually pleasurable night with this girl you did not lose your virginity to her. And if you want me to be harsh: next time don't be so damn stupid- you don't get told all that 'safe sex' crap at school just so you can giggle at it, and anal is just gross anyway, I have no idea how she managed to blow you after that without puking all over the place

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008):

Dear Poster

Others might differ from me, but as far as I am concerned you had sex. That you did not penetrate her vagina but selected anal, is in my opinion irrelevant.

No, I am afraid, I do not consider you a virgin.

Sorry, I don't mean to be harsh, but please practice safe sex in future and use a condom. The risks of STD's and AIDS are very high and you can get infected by anal sex.

Best wishes and lots of SMILES.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008):

Depends on your definition of sex.

Most people consider any form of penetrative sex where the male uses his penis to penetrate either the anus or the vagina to constitute sex.

So in that sense of the word... no, you are no longer on your V-Plates.

But feel free to have a narrower definiton of the word.

Flynn 24

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