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Am I selfish because I didn't have sex with him when he wanted it?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Sex, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 December 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2006)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

I decided to end my 3 year relationship with my boyfriend because i felt we weren't getting anywhere etc.He txt me asking for me to see him before he goes away for 2 months to the middle east as he's a service man in the RAF.I went to meet him because i wanted to say a proper goodbye to him but he said that he didn't want us to split up.I said that i didn't want to see him anymore and i didn't want any sexual contact with him,then he tried to kiss me and asked me to sleep with him because he was going away and that it was xmas! As far as i was concerned he only wanted me for sex and nothing else but he said i was being unreasonable,anyway i walked off and left him to it but what i really wanted to know was am i being selfish or that i was right and all he wanted was a leg over,i felt used but i never gave in.Was i right?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanxs for the good advice.Do you think he was using me for sex all the time we were together? because he didn't want the relationship to go to the next level and i have children whome he didn't want to play step father but i was with him for over 3 and a half years. I felt it was best to end it in the end.

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (21 December 2006):

maxsteel86 agony auntDont worry, you wasn't being selfish. You're not obliged to have sex with him just cos you USED to date him. Well done for sticking up for yourself. You held on to your position and didn't let his sap talk drive you into doing something your heart wasn't into. Nicely done;-)

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A female reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (21 December 2006):

artistical_bumblebee agony auntyeah babes you were so right!if you didnt want to have sex thats it he should stop after you said no theres no ifs no maybes he should respect you and he clearly was not. this relationship was over for a reason all he wanted was a leg over you were right you were not being selfish no means no!

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