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Am I right to have pressed charges? And why would he do these things?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi I am taking my ex to court, for fraud theft and dwoc, I am due next week to appear.

I was seeing this guy for 6 months, we had a lovely relationship, (so I thought) basically he stole money from my bank account by stealing my card. And taking my car woc, and driving whilst banned.

I throw him out of my home once I realised my money had been taken, he paid into my other account 400 a month which was for me to keep him, buy his fags, food and most things he needed. The account he stole was for my bills. He has told police he had full rein to my accounts and I willingly gave him authority to spend what he pleased. The money he stole went on booze and gambling and I gave no authority.

He was an alcoholic in denial, I am feeling very confused by what this man has done to me and my children and very hurt. I gave him a good home and loving family atmosphere and he did this to us.

I have not spoke to this man since this happened and want to make sense of it all, he told me he loved me etc.

Can anyone understand why he would do this and ruin our relationship and future, and most of all ruin his own life.

And was I right to have pressed charges and throw him out, was not first time. Thanks for reading

View related questions: alcoholic, gambling, money, my ex

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A female reader, imnotinlove United States +, writes (30 July 2009):

While in an addiction you hurt people and the drug of choice, which happens to be alcohol, has taken over. He is ill. Taking him to court is not a bad idea. I would only recommend that if you have no intention of letting him back into your life. He needs to be held accountable for his actions.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2009):

AuntyEm agony auntThere is no denying it, there really are some truly horrible, deceitful, lying bad bad people out there. There is no explaination why they are like that. You could blame it on a lot of things but nothing makes much difference to how these people are. They could decide to actually be good honest folk, but instead they choose to rip you off, take your car, spend all your money and basically screw you over. Then right when you suddenly realise what a turd they are, they drop the word 'love' at your door...Don't fall for it, it's emotional cruelty and the last resort for a desperate a**hole. Don't even try to think about why he would ruin the relationship. He obviously had other ideas on his mind.

You were absolutely right to throw him out (the rotten scumbag)Take him to court and try to get compensation and then rub him out of your life and start over.

I have done this but after an 18 year marriage...and I am happier than I have ever been in my life.

Another thing...learn from the situation, you now know the signs so your likely never to have to go through this again with anyone else.

From one liberated woman to a potential 'nother...

You go girl!!!!

Aunty Em xxx

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