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Am I right to be suspicious of my boyfriend and his gay colleague?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 October 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 October 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey guys,

So my current boyfriend has been I don't know complicated. He tells me he loves me and is straight and I'm the only one for him but there's a guy at work. He's in a more senior position and gay. I have always gotten along with him however since he found out me and my boyfriend were together he stopped speaking to me and started to talk about me negatively to my boyfriend. I only just recently found this out by looking at his Facebook chats to this guy and my boyfriend agrees with everything he says how I'm pathetic and going to drag him down and I do nothing for him and he should stay away. He even told him I'd slagged him off to another co worker and my boyfriend said that's so horrible why would she slag you off? She's immature yet he knows I would never. He also slags other me members of staff off which isn't like him at all he says he doesn't trust me enough to say anything about these people so why does he tell him, he's the worst version Of himself. So the guy and my boyfriend have been good friends for ages but after finding these comments I decided to look back this guy tells him about how he's playing with his pussy how his pussy likes to be stroked on about his cat to my boyfriend and just makes sexual jokes about this cat being a pussy constantly yet he's gay. Not only that but on a work night out the guy didn't come on he was messaging my boyfriend every 10 mins where are you? What are you doing? I'm soooo drunk? Where are you? Are you home yet? Mr his last name? Are you not talking to me now? Where are you? Come home? I'm really drunk? Like then I noticed a pattern he messages him every morning and night and if my boyfriend doesn't reply he messages and messages. I'm a little worried something might be not right here. They meet outside at the guys house when his fiancé isn't there for coffee and give each other lifts to work however my boyfriend is very limited on the information and will not let me see his texts. Should I be worried? Why is he being shady?

View related questions: at work, co-worker, drunk, facebook, immature, text

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (24 October 2014):

janniepeg agony auntHe and his gay colleague are both having an underground relationship while on the outside doing the society approved thing of engaging in a heterosexual relationship. He is mean to you and petty too. They like to gossip and this is a negative feminine trait. Some gay men like to think of themselves as girls and imagine having girl private parts therefore they talked about pussy. You don't need confirmation through text messages that he's gay to consider ending the relationship. By looking at what's happening here you should be more alert than just suspecting something is wrong. He is not treating you nicely and you have not said anything about him which shows he loves you.

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