A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Need to rant a bit and get some confirmation that I'm making the right decision because I don't trust myself anymore. I met this guy and fell for him. He seemed so nice and so interested. But then he started canceling plans last minute, and things started to go bad. I mean, he wouldn't even tell me he couldn't make it until I called an hour before the date to tell him I'm on my way. If he couldn't make it, what's so hard about picking up the phone and letting me know? Or even texting me? Especially when he's the one who made the date, not me. And stupid me, i gave him the benefit of the doubt the first few times and even with the repeated canceling, I kept saying yes and kept getting my hopes up for nothing. Then he'll text me or IM me a question and when I answer, he never replies. So i'll follow it up with another comment, then he'll tell me he's busy with something and can't talk. Then what's the point of starting a conversation if you can't finish it????The thing with him is that, he gives me space to cool down after each cancellation, so just as i'm over it and over him, he'll contact me again and he's very charming. I fall for it again and it's a repeated cycle. I feel like i can't really move on from him because I keep talking to him every so often. It's frustrating. I need to rid myself of him right? I mean, I can't even be friends with him because everything seem to be on his terms and his time only. I don't need someone like that in my life right? I'm wasting too much time on him. I shouldn't even post this question cause it's so obvious he's not good for me. :(
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female
reader, Rozett  +, writes (24 December 2010):
i think he is dating another girl, and he is really shy to tell you...so forget about him !!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): Get rid of him. He is not all there. Next thing you know he'll be thinking he's getting away with mind gaming you.
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A
female
reader, melody11 +, writes (24 December 2010):
If he's causing you emotional distress, it would be wise to get rid of him., but there's obviously a reason that you didn't do it already. I know I was the same way when my current boyfriend was talking to me. I genuinely did want to go hang out with him, but had my own insecurities about it, so it was easier to let yourself get distracted by other things son that you didn't have to deal with the stress of starting dating somebody new. I'm also a perpetual flake whether it was with school or relationships.
My now boyfriend said to me "whatever, if you don't want to hang out, fine, I'm not gonna keep trying, but if you wanna hang out, you know my number."
We hung out that night and two years later, he still brings up the stories of putting on his coat and walking out the door only to be told I was "busy".
I say do what my boyfriend did, in your win way, of course. However he reacts, you'll know if it meant to go further.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 YES you need to get rid of him. NOW.He sounds like a typical player and for heaven's sake get out of it before it gets worse. These are classic player traits and please dont get dragged into the web anymore. You need to get rid of him. Period. Why he behaves the way he does, what he means, what his actions indicate...these are all irrelevant. You dont need such a person in your life...not even as a friend. Dont let anyone ever play around with you. I know its very hard to resist a charming veneer but be strong and cut off all contacts with him. Its not worth all the heartache every time. Trust me. Chuck him and run for the hills.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010): Wow, I wonder if you're dating the same guy I just got rid of....You do really just have to get rid of him, and you have to stop talking to him. I don't know if this helps, but when I had to get rid of a similar guy, I kept these thoughts in mind: This man does not respect you. Yes, you may like him, but does not mean that he is right for you and it does not mean that you should be with this person. And as for a friendship, why would you be friends with someone who disrespects you? Do any of your friends do this to you? No, because not only are true friends reliable and considerate, but also you wouldn't have put up with anyone like this as a friend. Don't let him disrespect you anymore. Good luck!
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