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Am I reading too much into what my boyfriend said?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 November 2016) 9 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2016)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I would appreciate some insight from the following...I am questioning whether or not I am reading too much into it or if it is indeed something I should be concerned about.

A few evenings ago, my boyfriend of a year and I were having some cocktails at home and discussing an issue that I am dealing with, with a close friend of mine. He mentioned that he believes that she is jealous of me. He then proceeded to say, "Do you remember that article I read to you the other day about the power of visualization, and how the author recommends that each night as you are attempting to fall asleep, you should visualize something you want in life? Well, last night I visualized pulling up in front of Brio (that is an upscale restaurant in the city we live in, in case you are unaware), and a beautiful woman got out of my car and I made everyone jealous."

I honestly could not believe that came out of his mouth. I asked him what he meant by that exactly, and reminded him of how many times we have pulled up in front of a restaurant in his car...I was and still am baffled. Truthfully I feel as if he is fantasizing about something that I am not. He said that he was trying to compliment me and said that he was just appreciating me, however, that really doesn't make any sense to me. He specifically said, "a beautiful woman" not "you and I." Get my drift? Again, perhaps I am reading way too much into it. Thanks for reading.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2016):

Yeah I would cross-examine him over it lol...if you can even get the truth at this point.

I would try to sound really calm and nonchalant but I would ask him more about it.

after all, he didn't say "last night I visualized a beautiful woman came out of my car....and that was you"

You'll never know for sure...just listen to his comments after this, if all are positive you have no reason to worry, but if he makes more strange comments then you have your answer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone!!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (29 November 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYeah I think you are worrying over nothing. He landed himself in it while trying to tell you that your friend was jealous off what you had, he was trying to explain how it felt when he imagined everyone was jealous off what he had. Don't let it get to you, as you will only let it niggle away until it eats at you. It was a harmless comment.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Slippers, Bahahhaahahahaa exactly! Or perhaps Johnny Depp. ;)

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A female reader, Slippers  United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2016):

I would to be honest be totally not happy with that comment .. everyone on here is different. .only thing is I would have laughed and said oo I dream of waking up beside Tim cruise and I open my eyes and it's just you .. never mind ..eh haha

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you, WickedPoet! I really appreciate it! That helped tremendously.

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A male reader, WickedPoet United States +, writes (28 November 2016):

WickedPoet agony auntI think you are reading way too much into this. You don't say how long the relationship is or whether you have justification to believe he is referring to someone other than you but the scenario here is drinking together with your boyfriend, him mentioning that he thinks your girlfriend is jealous of you and then the fantasy scene to underscore the point.

It is YOU who is in the fantasy and YOU he thinks is beautiful which is why he thinks your girlfriend might be jealous of you. I think this was the drinks talking and you both got caught up in the moment. Unless you have much stronger evidence just let it go. As was said above, a sure fire way to danage your relationship is to become jealous , insecure, clingy and accusatory.

You are not at that point but just work on your insecurities Wbhy CAN'T you be the beautiful girl in the car your boyfriend mentions?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your response. And totally, I completely agree. I've noticed that he occasionally makes similar yet nonchalant remarks...this jas started within the past couple of months, almost as if he is intentionally trying to cut me down. He is almost 20 years older than me.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (28 November 2016):

Fatherly Advice agony auntHe put his foot in his mouth and you are not handling it well. If you continue visualizing him leaving you for someone hotter you can make it happen.

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