A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I have a bit of a problem going on at the minute.I find that I see my boyfriend alot, like on a regular basis and this makes me really happy but my sister makes digs at me that I never see my friends anymore which is untrue becasue i do seee them aswell just not as much as i did before i dated my boyfriend of 5 months who i am in love with by the way. I feel bad because it feels like i meet up with my friends as more of a chore or an obligation. Before i met my boyfriend I was feeling pretty low because my best friend had moved to another country and then I became friends with a guy who i sort of labelled as my best friend becasue at the time i felt really lonely and i would go to him for advice and then i sort of thought well i guess he is my best friend. But i was never really that close to the friends I have now because sometimes they weren't very nice to me and i felt like the odd one out.Now I have my boyfriend and we get on soo brilliantly and and he makes me laugh so much and out of everyone I know we have the most in common because we seem to think alike. he is definitely my best friend and I am his bestfriend and this makes me want to see my friends less. Noone seems to understand that we are best friends and my friends sometimes feel that I have ditched them for my boyfriend. I try my best not to leave them out but surely if i am much happier with my boyfriend who is also my best friend then is it not right for me to see him so much? I guess what I really want to know is if it sounds like im pushing my friends away or if what I am doing sounds fine because my boyfriend and i are best friends. It is also more complicated because my boyfriend doesn't really like my friends because they make mean digs and jibes at him when he is around sometimes.So yeah any advice or opinions are really appreciated! Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): See both and talk to both of them. If your friends can't get along with your bf then they really aren't your friends. Also, make time to see both your bf and friends. Maybe set up a shopping trip with your friends than a dinner with your boyfriend the next day. I'm sure he would want to be with friends too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): Dont worry about it much, i suggest you to keep seeing your friends even it feels like a chore. You never know what happens and you may need your friends oneday. True friends will always be there for you.
As time goes on, you should be able to find a natural balance between spending time with your bf & friends and of course not forgeting yourself.
If they're not true friends, contact will feasily out with time..
dnt worry, maintain contact with your friends, make and effort of it...
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (15 April 2007):
 Only you can decide who are your friends and who are not. however, it is important that you do have friends outside of your relationship. This is very important.
Not having a social life outside of a relationship can put extra pressure on the other half. Does he have friends outside of the relationship?
It does sound like these friends are ones you might not be able to trust as you would with good friends, but try and find another way to introduce new people into your life.
Even tho you might want to be with him 24/7, it is alot to ask from anyone. Everyone needs their own time whether it be own their own or with friends.
Make sure you find a balance..
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A
female
reader, nic85 +, writes (15 April 2007):
hi, no matter how much you love your boyfriend, you should try and make time for you friend as you never know when you might need them, i had the same problem when i got with my boyfriend, it was like a chore to see friend as my boyfriend is also my best friend. these dont sound like good friends as they should be happy for you, but try and see them a few times a week or arange a girly night in/out every week.in the mean time i would try and find some new friend who dont make digs at you or your boyfriend, your boyfriends mates girlfriend might be a good idea to start with as they will be in the same boat as you.
hope this help
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