A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:me and a guy have been texting for 34wks now and we even went on a date which was fun he was telling me about how is ex upset him and cheated on him. He was also completly honest with me he said that he does not want to be offiical boyfriend/girlsfriend but also our relationship would not be friends with benefits as we would still go out on dates i did not catch much of what he said as i was shocked but i stilled liked him and i was glad he was honest with me so i decided i wanted to see him again. But recently things have not been going great i feel like am making all the effort to communicate with him. I would go 4 days without days hearing from him and when i texted him saying you've been quiet he said so have i so i asked if he was waitinig for me to text him and he said yeah. So then he went a way for a week and the same thing happen i did not hear from him and i felt that if i did not text him i would not hear from him i told him that and he said "trust me i would have texted you". i try hard to make a conversation with him but after sometime he does not reply. so i tried again and he asked him i was doing anything on saturday i said no so he suggested i meet him i asked him what we should do and guess what he wanted me to decided because he cant thing of anything which is stupid since am coming to his city to see him. i feel like am making all the effort and his doing nothing he says his said his still into me. but why is he not trying. should i forget him or tell him how i feel, i really like him but i feel no effort from him when a guy likes a girl then he makes an effort to talk to her. with this guy i would not hear from him if i dont text him i feel like he is wasting my time. I deleted him number from my phone but i still have his number written on a piece of paper and i want to throw it away but i cant bring myself to do it. is it because i still have hope me and him would work out? i dont know what to do am so stuck. is he stringing me along. should i forget him
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 June 2014):
 Yeah I'd stop rowing this relationship boat and see what happens..
he was honest he told you he did not want anything serious... he means it.
you are hoping to have more than something very casual, that's not going to happen.
you are only in his life till someone he likes better comes along and you will be tossed aside.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 June 2014):
 Well, he TOLD you- he does not want a Gf, with the usual amount of contact , closeness, effort etc. He does not make any particular effort because he does not want to impress you favourably, or to make you happy- he just wants to get laid and ( at least he says ) go occasionally on some dates. Actually, what he has in mind , it seems to me, is the real Friends with Benefits- two uncommitted people spending occasional time together mostly in bed but also out of bed. Technically if you met for no frills casual sex only ,you would be " fuck buddies ", and I think that he meant you'd be more than just fuck buddies, you'd also hang out together . Yet, he does not want anything more relationship-y than that , and he's not being obscure about it, he told you first thing, and he is confirming what he said by his actions.
If you had in mind something more or something dofferent, then he's not the man for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 June 2014):
 YEP, he is stringing you along til he finds someone else.
FLush, burn or toss out the piece of paper. That is YOU hanging on to a fantasy. REALITY is, he likes to have that GF experience where he can go out on dates, get some sex but not HAVE to put forth any effort.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2014): Thank you all for your advice and I have burned the piece of paper with his number and I gotta say that I feel so much better now. If he textes me am just gonna reply with "Who's this". Am so over him
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 June 2014):
 This is my reading of this young man, he doesn't want you to be girlfriend and boyfriend officially, but it appears he does want sex, but he says it wont be FWB because you will be going on dates, (?) so would that be dating with sex but not girlfriend and boyfriend?
You are travelling to his city to see him, but rather than him exert himself to think of an activity you can both enjoy you also have to decide what to do.
You initiate most of the contact between the two of you, he puts in no effort.
I am happy to hear you have deleted his number from your phone, now I want you to come back and tell me you burnt the piece of paper with his phone number on it.
This guy isn't worth the effort of trying. Do yourself a favour and give him a miss.
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