A
female
age
22-25,
*arine220708
writes:I'm currently talking to this lad who seems to be interested in me. It would be fine but he has a girlfriend, who I asked about recently. He never seems too happy to see her, says they're distant,she doesn't speak to him much and she has cheated on him numerous times. He speaks to me all the time and is clearly very interested (talking daily for 20 days, and has decided he cares about me and always staring at me in school).I think he wants me to tell him to break up with her, but I don't want to be that girl. I might also be wrong. Whenever I talk about it, he always says 'what do you mean?' and 'why?'. There was one point he told me he wants me to tell him I want to be with him, but apart from that I have no clue whether that's what he wants me to say.He also sent an odd message yesterday, which confuses me. He said it was meant for his girlfriend, but it could easily relate to me. I think it could have been to get an annoyed reaction out of me, or to make me jealous. Afterwards, he was replying instantly and asking if I was OK, rather than speaking to her.I'm not sure what he wants me to do, so what do you think?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (22 April 2018):
 Don't be anyone else's hit man. EVER. Don't let others make bullets for YOU to fire.
Let him do his own dirty work. If he hasn't got the balls to make the decision to finish with his girlfriend, don't be the one to make that decision for him because do you know what will happen? When she (and her friends) kick off at him, he will blame YOU.
Put yourself in his girlfriend's place. How would you feel if your boyfriend was talking to another girl as he is talking to you?
Chances are, he tells her he loves her and is happy with her when he is with her, then strings you along too. Don't be naive. Know your worth. Don't you think you deserve more than this? Unless he is free, leave him to his girlfriend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2018): Sounds like he's playing games with you. But ultimately when he's playing games with you, he's actually playing his own game that he made up and is rather hoping you'll join in. In his game you are the loser and he is the winner. But - you see - you don't know the rules of this game coz he never told you how to play, so he's playing his own game, it's called "Loserville"
And you ain't no loser.
Let him and his (poor) girlfriend live happily ever after and try not to give him a 2nd thought, concentrate on school and your future that should not be wasted on time wasters or people who try to muck with your head.
Good luck kiddo :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (22 April 2018):
 I think you should cut him lose and block him.
He has a GF. Whether his relationship[p with her is good or bad is irrelevant. If it's that bad, then HE can leave. He doesn't need YOU to tell him that. If she constantly cheats on him and it's such a miserable relationship... why is he still with her?
The whole "woe is me" is such a classic CHEATER tactics to get a new person to feel sorry for them, feel like they are SO including in that person's life and they need to "rescue" the poor downtrodden and cheated on guy.. Come on.. He is a grown ass man who can dump his GF is he is miserable with being cheated on.
"There was one point he told me he wants me to tell him I want to be with him"
Yeah, he is looking for a side chick. for someone to give him attention but not rock the boat.
Please OP, he couldn't be more obvious.
this is not a guy that has GOOD BF material written all over... quite the opposite.
ALL you have is HIS words that SHE is the one who has cheated. That they are distant etc. etc.
Don't fall for the "cheater slick car salesman's bullshit. You will be the one who gets hurt in the end.
If a guy has a partner HE is OBVIOUSLY not available that means YOU need to step away and remove him from your life.
You say:" I don't want to be that girl"... really? Your whole post is you asking IF that is what you should do. BE that girl and "tell" him to dump her...
Be smarter.
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