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Am I living in fantasy land and he's in reality?

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 August 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 August 2011)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am in a very difficult situation and the stress is taking its toll on me! Ive been with my boyfriend 9 months and I would say up to 5 months things were great. I have a 7 yr old and he has a 3yr old boy who get on great together. The thing is im 30 next year and I would like another child get married and moving in together in the near future, we had spilt up briefly as he told me that at this point he doesnt want children! And doesnt know if he wants to get married! But after time apart we both came to the conclusion that we should enjoy being together and stop worrying bout what may or may not happen in the future! Plus he said now that hes not saying never bout anything! I really want another child but when I say to him where do u see yourself in 2 years time? He says he doesnt know. He says we havent been together that long and we are still getting to know each other, he says if weve moved in together and it didnt work out we would be stuck, he thinks u should also be living with someone a few yrs b4 u have child as it brings alot of stress if u arent in a solid relationship. I suppose im very in patient person and I want everything now! I just thought that when u loved someone I was gonna get sweeped of my feet with engagement and a family. Am I living in a fantasy land and hes living in reality land?

View related questions: moved in, want children

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A male reader, Ronnie70 United Kingdom +, writes (15 August 2011):

Ronnie70 agony auntYou'd better believe that if he's said he doesn't want any more children he really doesn't want any more. I wouldn't say you're living in fantasyland exactly but it's obvious to me that he doesn't want the things you want - at least, not yet anyway.

You've been together just 9 months which is no time at all. Your body clock is overruling every other emotion and you're in a hurry. He's thinking logically and is unwilling to jump into the deep end with both feet.

I tend to agree with him and if I were him I'd also be reluctant to follow the path you'd like to head down. have patience - Rome wasn't built in a day. Marry in haste, repent at leisure - as far too many people are discovering these days.

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