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Am I just wasting my time with this older guy?

Tagged as: Age differences, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 March 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ngelblue610 writes:

I've messed up. I was being flirted with in Oct 2015 - Dec 2015 by my then next door neighbours married son. I know things are rough at home. I wanted to help. Then he cut me off. I become an object for his brother to touch. It sent me round the bend. I fell for both. However, Feb 2017 the married one reconnected with me. We spoke, and told each other how we felt. He didn't want to hurt me despite the issue. I don't make a habit of going after married men. And he chased me both times. I slept with him, I know it was stupid. But as I am aware of his situation I thought we'd help each other. He is 19 yrs older than me. We are both adults. Afterwards we spoke for a further week. Then he went quiet again. I think there could be more, but I've sent several messages to him of me ranting. I didn't want to but, I'm lost. I think I love him. Do you think if I leave it a while, and contact him (after the 3 month rule), and I've calmed down that he may speak at least? Or am I wasting my time and energy? I just want to understand why he keeps coming after me then going silent . He's 52 and I'm 33, and I'm sure we could be friends if he stopped messing with my mind.

View related questions: flirt, neighbour

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHe wants sex from you. When he gets what he wants he ignores you until maybe sometime in the future he will get the urge. He doesn't love you, he wants to be with his wife, he sees you as someone to have occasional fun with. He has no respect for you. Have more respect for yourself and stay away from him and his brother, as they both sound like they are using you for a bit off fun.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2017):

He goes silent because he does not care about you. He feels guilty. He knows it is a mistake what he did. He is not interested in a relationship with you or wrecking his life for you. He just wants some easy side sex. Nothing more.

He only chases you when he is horny. He wants sex. Gets it. Then goes cold again.

Hang in there.

I guarantee you the next time he gets horny, he will come chasing you down. Again.

You will have sex with him. Again.

And again he will then go silent.

Til he is horny. Again.

Do you see a pattern here?

Don't be his YO YO!

Aren't you better than that?

Do you want to be some old, married pervert's side bimbo?

Come on girl! Respect yourself more than that!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 March 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI think you are wasting your time.

And I think you are TOTALLY missing the point as well. The guy is married. Doesn't matter how much SUCKAGE the marriage is... cheating NEVER fixes anything and you are the WILLING participant in this drama/mess.

So do you ENJOY being used? Being so low on a man's priorities that yu are a mere afterthought?

This is your NEIGHBOR! Your MARRIED neighbor! So you also live right next door to his WIFE and that doesn't bother you?

If you want a friend, seek elsewhere - if you want a partner or a casual sex partner who doesn't give a rats ass about you, you can find "better" than some married guy in his 50's!

I think you should leave him and his family alone. PERIOD.

Find things in life that make you happy -that IMPROVES your life - don't be "that woman". Go make friend with OTHER singles - travel, MAKE something of yourself.

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