A
female
 ,
*vangeline
writes:Hi, I really need some advice from some of the readers of dear cupid. I have been answering problems on here a while now and have got some really good ratings - the only problem is, im useless at sorting out my own problems!I've been seeing this wonderful man for nearly a year now - hes my knight in shining armour; only last friday we had a really bad time together. I was allowed to see him for a couple of hours after school and we had a great time together for the first couple of hours, he then got really really tired and just could focus on anything i was saying or what we were doing. i got quite angry at this as it was the first time i had seen him for two weeks :( He said something really rude to me and so i went home. Two days later after waiting for him to call me, i called him. He said he didnt feel like we got on as well as we used to although he didnt really understand why (i asked about the obvious things like the arguements etc, but he didnt think it was that as we dont argue that much) He said i did things that annoyed him a lot - i immediately presumed it was me texting him too much etc ... but he said it wasnt that - he liked me texting him a lot. He said it was silly things i did that annnoyed him, he couldn't think of any examples and he didnt understand why they annoyed him. I assume he meant habits of mine or phases i use etc. I asked him if he still loved me and cared about me and he said he did. I asked him if he wanted to continue the relationship and he didnt answer. does anyone understand this?? I asked whether he knew what he wanted and he didnt answer. so i said why dont we take a break for a bit over our exams (we both have major exams comming up in a couple of weeks which i know he is super worried about!) He liked the sound of the break idea!Its confusing, i dont understand why we got to this ending relationship conversation. im so scared im going to lose him and that he doesnt like me. i dont understand how we got from complete happiness last week to him not being able to make his mind up about us. he said to me before we argued on friday that he felt that he was in a really strange mood.Do you think its me or more likely to be external issues that im just taking the brunt of?? any help would be really appriciated. from a broken heart :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2007): I know it is hard but you need to keep back. You can't make him want to be with you and if you push, you will push him away. If you can bring things back into being on your own terms it would be good. It was not his fault that he was tired - how would you feel if someone yelled at you for being tired? You would wonder if they were quite all there, or thinking they were a scary, demanding loonatic.
You need to get out of this slightly agressive, needy frame of mind. Can you make a joke of it somehow? For example, send him a packet of cocoa and an eye mask to help him get some sleep and rest, which he obviously needs. Include in the package a ticket you have made for one fun night out with you. Tell him it expires in four weeks and that he will have to call you before to see if you have a booking availability. You would prefer to offer him a front row seat, but if he waits to long he will be behind a pillar sitting on an upturned fire bucket! Then leave him alone to come to you and DO NOT be tempted to call him first. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): My heart goes out to you , it sounds like he really doesn't know what he wants but is keeping you dangling on a string , he sounds confused but knows you have strong feelings for him and can keep you waiting till he makes up his mind , i know you love him very much but i think if it is ever going to work he needs to have more respect for you which he sounds like he doesn't have much of that for you at the moment , i think you should stand back from it all if you still want because letting him make all the decisions on the relationship isnt fair and he won't know if he really wants you if your there waiting on him to decide ,, you should tell him to go and make his mind up and let you know when he has , it must be extremely hard as you have exams but if he is for you , you will be together if not , there are plenty of men who will love you and all your habits , it sounds as though anything you do will iritate him and thats not true love , concetrate on yourself and take good care
hope this helps x
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