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female
,
anonymous
writes: I just moved in (visiting) my boyfriend who lives in country x. He moved here to work, and will be here for the next two years. We met in country y and we are both from different countries z and w. (sorry if this sounds too cryptic!) Now, I have a job offer in my home country and will go there for the next two years. After being together for three years, we seem to be having some difficulties in the last three months of my stay here:- sex is barely happening, he pushes me away when i try to initiate it- sleeping apart (he falls asleep watching the television, not willing to make love to me or endure my sadness that we do not make love anymore) i am unable to fall asleep near him because he snores so loudly (for some strange reason, this was not a problem before we had the long-distance thing!)- my discovery of a visit from his ex (who does not live in country x) via a card and photo. he refuses to discuss this. i am unhappy as he had slept with her two years ago (when i was already with him) but we had moved on and i feel real sad about everything now, and sometimes i find myself crying. and he says i am too negative about us... but i'm finding it harder to trust and my distrust probably shows, fuelling a negative vibe..- i find myself doing all the housework, however he pays all the bills. suddenly the food i buy (in the fridge) is overnight demolished, and he does not help with the grocery purchasing- when i ask him if he could help with a chore, he forgets to do it. i feel somewhat resentful also that he cannot even put his dirty dishes in the sink but leaves a mess everywhereAm i just complaining or is this normal? Am i being too unreasonable in wanting to do something together with him (other than watching television, which i hate but tried to like for his sake)? Why are we getting so irrated with each other lately and how can i improve matters without giving a lecture or asking for a "talk"? If we are going to be apart for two years (and on the opposite sides of the globe) is it going to be possible for us to continue our relationship (i had been rather unhappy over the last year and had imagined that things would improve when i came and stayed with him)?
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female
reader, helpful girl  +, writes (8 October 2006):
 well darling sorry to say this but your ralationship is breaking up and your fighting an endless battle, or maybe waiting untill you come back from the 2years of being away, see if that makes him see sense and if he misses you if he does hell do anything you want as long as his with you. maybe its the fact that because you go away to work and ardly see each other he gets worried of getting close to you and just as he does your gone again. and also because youve been away hes got use to his own habbits of liveing his way. maybe considering the idea of moveing closer to where you both work would help as that way you can come home to each other evry night! also maybe the talk is the only way you will improve things as commitment is a golden key in every ralationship no commitment no ralationship! but serously from my point of veiw this man is a loser you deserve better and your ralationship as come to an end. its normal for you to feel this way. but i would say let him go.
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