A
male
age
41-50,
*hylde
writes:So I am confused and lostso I'll keep this short and simple. I met this girl over 7 months ago and started having phone and text conversations with her. We had a brief argument which led to 2 months of avoiding each other.We have been on 2-3 dates however she always wants me to show up at her bar when she is working. we constantly text and have phone conversations via the phone. But there are times she would not answer for days. This is my issue: she states that she likes me and cares for me but will not place a label on me. She would get jealous/mad if I talk to other girls at the bar or sitting at the opposite bar that she is working at. She does not want to go out for dinner, movies or anything. and states she hates going out - which is a I believe is a lie. All my friends believe their is a motive am I the fall back guy?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): Dude, Man up talk to other girls in front of her... Let her know you have options. If she is uninterested she will let it be known. If she is interested she'll use her time with you more wisely. Also, NEVER get hung up like this, if she likes your great if not who cares. Do you know how many girls there are in this world? Google it.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Yes, you are. You're the guy she has around to massage her ego. If she doesn't want to go out and have fun with you, find someone who will.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Have you done anything romantic or sexual? If so, then yes, you are the fallback guy, and she's keeping you on the back burner while she hunts for better options.
If you have only talked and texted, then you're only a friend, and she's just a tease. Start dating a new girl.
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A
female
reader, NatreeRose +, writes (13 July 2010):
 It definitely sounds like she is very insecure and unsure of what she wants (I have a few girlfriends like this). Women like this will sometimes hold onto a guy that is interested in her to boost her self-esteem, but may not have any intentions to go further with it (a.k.a., she's probably using you). You need to tell her how you feel about it and find out what she's thinking! Good luck, hopefully it turns out to your benefit ;)
~Natreerose
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 July 2010):
It certainly sounds like it. Something is going in here, that's for sure. Having known each other for seven months, there should be more interaction that just you two meeting when she's working. And her not answering the phone for several days is another bad sign. She can get as jealous as she likes. But at the end of it, she's not offering much really. Just sees you at work, and that's really it. Methinks there could be a boyfriend or even kids around somewhere.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Its possible. I'd simply ask her whats going on. Confront her on it.
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