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Am I fling or something more?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So there's a guy who I'm talking to right now. We've talked a lot for the past three weeks. Some days we talk/im/webcam three hours, others we talk maybe one hour, then other days, we're texting nonstop. His girlfriend of a year and half just died a few months back. She cheated on him so he said he was trying to separate himself from her. I asked him if I was the rebound girl and if he just talked to me because he was bored, wanted something in return etc etc, but he has continuously insisted that he really enjoys talking to me and he won't force me into sex. It doesn't matter to him. I'm also five hours away, so he said that if he wanted that type of girl, he could just find one at the bar and take her home for the night. Even at the bar and in meetings, he's texting me. So I feel like I must be somewhat special?

I understand that he's pretty busy, but there are some days that I feel like he doesn't really appreciate me. I understand with work, you're there to work, and not talk, but I just feel ignored sometimes. Is this just me being stupid? We used to talk a lot more, but he's busy and we talk a little less now. But still, a good amount for one day. I know girls love talking and talking and talking. Character flaw, I know. I'm not an attention whore, but I like the attention.

I feel like since his girlfriend just died a few months ago (car accident), he's not ready for anything. l'll be going back home in two months for the summer. I know as of now, we're not serious/can't be serious. He says that he genuinely likes talking to me, he enjoys my company etc etc. He's said that if we were to start dating, it wouldn't be for a while.

What should I do? I'm supposed to go home in the next couple weeks. We're supposed to meet up. I can see myself really falling for him.

And in the end, do you think he's really serious about me, or really am I here just to pass time? I keep going back and forth and frankly, I'm not sure where I stand with him.

I'm a very straightforward woman and can usually read people. I feel a bit silly posting this question, but might as well!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I should probably add that at this point, I'm not looking for a relationship. He's not ready for one yet, and I'm not looking for a long distance relationship. I wanted to see how it would be when we hung out first and maybe it could blossom into something more in a couple months.

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