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Am I falling for the wrong guy?

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Family, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2017)
A female New Zealand age 22-25, *uliet94 writes:

I liked my brother's friend for 1 year.I never seen him or talk to him before.But I developed feelings for him when my brother tell about him.I started to talk to him a few days ago without telling my brother.I told him that I like him.He said he like me too because I'm pretty and confident.But he said he cannot accept me as he is already with someone and I'm his buddy sister.I was heartbroken at that time.He said lets be friends.I said no because its difficult for me to be friends with someone whom I had feelings.I'm just confused with him.He says he likes me but is not loving me but he wants me to stay with him as friends.He gets dissappointed and sad when I say I cant be friends with him.At times,we are flirting.He wants my attention but he does not want to give his attention to me.I don't know why he is doing this.He is 23 dating a 15 year old girl which I find disgusting.He was in love with a girl for 5 years one side.but she rejected him.The girl's sister got feelings for him after seeing his love for the sister.She is 15 only and she proposed to him.He say the reason for accepting her is she is beautiful and she know the first love.I dont know i find him stupid based on this one incident.He does not have any full time job.He is working part time.He stopped doing his degree.Is he a insecured guy?If a 15 year old girl's attention is making him better means I think he is immatured.On the other hand I'm a working full time and earning.Is it possible for him to see me as a threat?Am I choosing a wrong guy.Overall he is not a bad guy.He is a nice guy actually.what should I do?

View related questions: flirt, heartbroken, immature, insecure

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom + , writes (13 October 2017):

02DuszJ agony auntYeah you're pretty and confident like a million other girls he might "just" leave for his girlfriend.. How would you feel if if it was you he left for a quick lay/ passing fling??

Mate he's not insecure. He is immature, sounds quite lazy and has very loose morals to date a CHILD. You're right that is disgusting. Not the age gap but the fact she's not even old enough to have sex yet and barely knows her own mind at 15!!

He is a fully fledged adult and should know better- I'm sure he does, but doesn't care. Just like he doesn't care to follow through with his degree or flirt with other girls when he's in a relationship..

Please get a grip. EXACTLY like Honeypie said- you REALLY want to break up a relationship for a guy you barely know.. :/

Although actually you would be doing the poor lass a favour, I guess if she starts dating at 15, she'll just learn earlier stage of life the kind of guys to avoid.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntYep, you are falling for the wrong guy. And you are mistaken LOVe for infatuation and fantasy.

The guy you "fell in love with" is the guy your brother told you about. NOT the entire person. Your brother probably makes his friend sound better than he is because he is his best friend.

YOU barely know him. What you DO know is that he is 23 but dating a 15-year-old. 8 years is WAY to big a gap at age 15... WAY... TOO ... BIG. And yes, that DOES make him seem immature. Actually, his actions with you ARE that of an immature guy.

He IS dating someone else. So he should be OFF limits to you, whether you like him or not. You need to respect that when people are IN a relationship you don't go try and poach or declare your feelings because what is that going to do? Was he supposed to say:" OH you like me, let me DUMP my girlfriend!!"? How soon after THAT happens till another girl wants to try her luck and he dumps you? Yeah?

But here is the crux of why you shouldn't REALLY want anything to do with him.

1. he is talking to you behind your brother's back.

2. he wants to keep being friends, keep flirting which means, he is stringing you along in case he gets an "opening" and becomes single and needs someone to screw around with or rub his ego.

He may not be a "bad guy" but he is NOT great BF material.

Find someone single. Someone you don't have to HIDE from your brother. And someone you ACTUALLY take the time getting to know BEFORE you declare your feelings.

Chin up and CUT all contact with him, you don't need THAT guy as a "friend".

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