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Am I expecting too much to be holding hands and kissing by now?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 May 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 May 2012)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hello i am in a relationship with a man for almost 6 months, i haven't been in a relationship for a few years and previously had mostly one night stands. He has told me that he hasn't had a serious relationship because he has a lot of one night stands himself and he always thought that he needed money and dated women in the past who always expected him to have money to do things. I don't mind since i myself am tired of one night stands. we both agree that taking things slow is the best thing to do. However he seems kind of shy at times, and at this point we haven't held hands, kissed or anything yet. He has also had some issues with his dad and his stepmom - he and his stepmom don't get along very well.

Also when he was younger his mom and his younger brother committed suicide and he says that he is trying very hard to stay away from drinking alcohol.

I'm just wondering if i am expecting too much to be holding hands and kissing etc? should i just give him his space to try to work things out with his dad and his stepmom? We both really like each other and i really want things to work out between us since he is nice, honest and sincere and he isn't just looking for a one night stand. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

View related questions: kissing, money, one night stand, shy

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (12 May 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt6 months is adequate time for 180 one night stands. What is it with the two of you?

It could be that he is playing the "four date" scheme by taking things slowly... but this? ... this is begging even THAT!!!!!

Stay close and friendly with this man, if you wish. But, I suggest that you not pin your hopes of having a real relationship on him (and you).... Time will tell.

Good luck...

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A female reader, Deagan United States +, writes (11 May 2012):

Deagan agony aunt6 months and no kissing or holding hands? No, I don't think you are expecting too much- that's what couples do. When you really like someone, all you want to do is hug and kiss them!

It sounds to me that he wants a companion/friend/someone to talk too, not a girlfriend. I know you two want to take it slow and you don't want to come off as pushy because he's going through some things in his life, but the problems he's having shouldn't interfere with being intimate with his girlfriend.

Next time you two go out, be daring, grab his hand. Hold hands. See what he does. Express your thanks of him taking you out by kissing him. See how he responds.

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