A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’ll try not to make this long and keep it brief as I can, I’m on a dating site app and joined it because I’m single. met some nice people and made friends a long the way. I messaged this female who I liked and we started talking to each other. we share the same interests and to me, seem to get on. however I’ve noticed a change in her since we have talked. when she’s online she will ignore me and takes ages to respond to my message which she didn’t do before. why is she doing it now? am I being taken for a ride? I don’t want anyone to think I am being dumb with this. I’d just like advice on this. thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (3 November 2018):
 Lack of interest in someone is not being taken for a ride. That's only when she's trying to get, or happy to receive favours from you while offering little to nothing in return. So I agree, take the hint and move on without confronting her. Most folks don't want to hurt or offend others, so she's letting you know, as politely as she can, that she's just not that into you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2018): I didn’t want the story to sound like a long novel and just wanted to stick to the basics and cover ground. I suffer with anxiety and depression. I asked her why she was ignoring me by mistake which I didn’t mean to ask she read the message and now she is ignoring me and punishing me for it, in the past females have messed me around and haven’t treated me right. maybe she’s giving me a taste of my own medicine, i don’t know. that’s true I’m not saying women don’t have a choice, they do, it’s just with this it seem to be unfair.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (3 November 2018):
 Not sure why you would think you were being "taken for a ride". That would seem to indicate she is lying to you or taking advantage of you in some way, neither of which you have mentioned in your post.
It is one thing "getting on" in writing but another when you speak to the person. Perhaps she didn't feel the same connection with you when you spoke as she had done when you were only corresponding via messaging. Perhaps she is toying with you to see if you will get keener when she backs off a little. There are lots of other "perhaps" scenarios out there because none of us knows anything about this lady. Perhaps she is not who she claims to be but some sort of scammer who is stringing guys along and, when she finds ones who are quite keen, will spin them some story about needing money to come and meet them, etc. Or perhaps it is none of these and she is just not really interested in pursuing anything with you.
You could always bring it to a head and ask her if she fancies meeting up. Her response should tell you whether she is interested in pursuing a relationship with you or not. If she isn't, then move on. She is allowed to change her mind, regardless of the reason.
Good luck. I hope you find someone who is right for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2018): I didn’t think it was appropriate, just that, we are only getting to know each other.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 November 2018):
 Is all you do is talk to her online?
Haven't you asked her out or to meet her?
Maybe she is looking for someone to BE WITH not to correspond with online.
And if someone backs off, take it as a sign of disinterest and then move on. Don't waste your time. Not all women feel comfortable and/or safe enough to turn down a man they have met online. so DO take a hint.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2018): Maybe she's only being polite. I think she still wants to continue checking-out other prospects and profiles; but may be leading you on, just in-case there aren't too many other hits from other men.
Online-dating offers people a lot choices. They'll accept dates, but people aren't always honest about what they're up to.
Back-off if you're not holding her interest. Read the signals. If she doesn't seem that into you, wish her well; and keep searching.
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