A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm a newlywed only married about a year.My husband never learned how to drive and I really would like him to. He just won't do it and won't even try.I am getting really tired of hauling him around places. He takes public transport but complains he doesn't want to pay the fares. Like the past 2 days I have been really sick and I have had to drag out of bed to haul him around places and I know he wouldn't do the same for me.I feel like I never get a break from work or from anything. I haven't had a vacation since September last year and I had 3 weeks off and guess what he expected me to get up at 7am to drag him down to the train station. It is like he just expects me to do this. Did he ever think that maybe one day I would like to sleep in late on my vacation? When he had his vacation he laid around so lazy all the time.Should he learn how to drive? How do I get him to?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Some men have phobia's about driving and you will never get them to drive.Even if he gets his license , he may still not want to drive. You married him and his problems.
If you have tried and cajoled him to no avail, then you will have to live with hauling him for life.
Think of him as someone who is a paraplegic or a handicapped person.
What can you do?
Accept the fact and do it out of love for him.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 May 2010):
What you need to do is start start standing up for yourself.
You've lain down and written welcome across your head and now are unhappy he's using you as a door mat.
There is a word called "NO." Use it.
"I'm having a sleep in tomorrow."
"What about my lift?"
"I'm not giving you a lift. Oh and when are you going to take me on holiday this year so I can book time off work? I brought some brochures for us to look at."
Say no, and if he complains then tell him that he knows where the car keys are if he wants to drive himself. The fact he doesn't have a licence is not your problem. You are asleep.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Bring home some adervtisement for driving schools and have him take a look at it. Of course he doesnt want to drive when he's got you as his personal chauffeur. Just be mature and reasonable about this. You like him to be independant from you, so that he can go places when he wants to without dragging you along. Make it sound like something that will benefit him. Honestly it will benefit him, so try and make that point come across. Say that while you are happy to help, it'd be easier for everyone if he learned how to drive. Then he could do you favours like go shopping for you etc.
As for bus fares, a car is more expencive than a bus fare. So avoid the economic side of the issue. Focus on the benefits of him learning how to drive. Tell him it'd really help you out. Tell him that you also would feel more secure if he knew how to drive, in case of emergencies. And what about the future, when you want children. Him not knowing how to drive will limit him and your family.
But make this a positive thing! And then encourage him a lot, and make him feel proud about it when he starts his driving lessons.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): well this is an interesting issue. i have to tip my hat to you because at 7am i wouldnt like to drive a lot of people anyway. its fine he takes public bus and stuff. but hes needs to take a little more charge and not so demanding on you. if he doesnt like driving or doesnt want to, thats fine. you cant force him to drive. its like bring a horse to water, but you cant make it drink. just be sure you tell him how you feel and ask him one last time to learn how to drive. if he still says no then just simple dont get mad. instead tell him to go buy a bike and be a little more responsible.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Should he learn how to drive?: yes
How do you get him to?: put your foot down, set a deadline.. a month, 2 maybe, whatever you think is reasonable and say that you will not drive him anywhere at that specific date. You're married so you're in this for the long haul so a couple of months shouldn't be a problem. Maybe even book him for a driving lesson and give him a weeks notice. Either way you have to make a stand otherwise he'll keep taking advantage of the situation in my opinion. As long as you make a commitment for him to fulfill and give him adequate notice then the ball is in his court. Out of curiosity... how old is your husband and why does he not have his license?
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