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Am I being rational or should I go to the wedding he has invited me to attend?

Tagged as: Family, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 October 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2015)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met a guy online who lives across the country and we have been talking for 3 years.

He invited me to a family function, a wedding, in his state. He says he will pay for the plane and stay.

We will be meeting for the first time and I am unsure if I should travel, meet for the first time and meet all of his family.

We are trying to work through some issues, he lied and cheated this past year with other girls he met in his state, so I am unsure if this is a good idea.

I do want to meet him though but without the added pressure of meeting his whole family though. Am I being rational or should I go?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2015):

Seriously don't step on a plane to see a guy who, in 3 years, you haven't met.

Just don't do it.

You can't meet him for the first time at someone's wedding - thats a really personal day for the couple and you don't even know your date let alone them!

This is just not quite right, something is off. He can pay for a flight out there for you but has never flown himself out to you? Please keep.yourself safe.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (2 October 2015):

Ciar agony auntI agree with Honeypie wholeheartedly.

If you two haven't met in three years of corresponding and there's no date set for either of you to relocate to be together then what exactly is the point of all this?

Why should he choose a keyboard over time spent with a real life woman? Why should you do the same for him?

Meeting him for the first time at a big family function is a bit much, but then I think this whole 'relationship' is questionable.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2015):

No save yourself the heartache.If he's prepared to pay he will expect you to sleep with him and you are going to be trapped down there the whole of the official time.Not everyone is trated well at weddings.Even good friends who youve known for years can be odd about weddings and I once spent a wedding holed up in a hotel room because I wasnt invited to the reception and to cap it all I was starving and couldnt even get a sandwich.I would never inflict the same torture and embarresement on anyone else and believe it or not the brides mother knew me well enough to say " Oh dear arent you coming to the reception..I thought zz had invited you to stay for it!Worse still they expected me to like everyone the next day and i couldnt.It was beyond me!So never get trapped.Mine was just uncomfortable humiliation but yours could be worse.It could be rape or he could tbrow a black skirt and white blouse at you and say "Get serving!You didnt think I was paying yourfare for nothing did you!Benny over there needs a drink!"

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI wouldn't met up with a guy for the FIRST time in person at someone's wedding. Someone you don't even know.

And if he can afford to fly you down for the wedding how come he hasn't gone to see you in 3 years? or paid for you to fly down? Dating or talking to someone for 3 years and NEVER having met? That means you have NO idea who he is outside of his "online persona", except you DO know that he has cheated on you SEVERAL times...

I'm sorry, I think you wasting your time "dating" a guy for 3 years that you have never met. And that you have no plans of moving closer by anytime soon.

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