A
female
age
30-35,
*iaBabe
writes:Hey aunts... quick question Me and my 2 friends decided to get a three bedroom apt and split the bills. My situation is I want to try living on my own, I do pay bills at my mothers house but I want to see how it is to be on my own. My best friend situation is the same. Now the 3rd girl is a friend and she lives on her own but she can't afford to pay the bills because she doesn't get enough hours at work, so she's struggling to continue on. Me on the other hand, I work alot. I work to 65-80 hours every two weeks while in school full time. And my best friend works about 40-50 hours every two weeks while in school part time. And the 3rd girl works around 30-40 hours every two weeks and she's in school part time. Rent is very high and since I didn't graduate yet I can't afford rent alone. I wish I could but I'm so close to graduating and I can't wait till that beautiful day. So school comes 1st in my life.The 3rd girl does have a living room set and doesn't want to place anything in storage, I understand that because I have some of my belongings in storage. So me and my best friend don't mind if she brings her things along, plus it's very cute. We all get along, we hang out sometimes and go to dinners etc. Bills... We all want to split the bills down the middle. Now the 3rd girl wants the master bedroom with the bathroom. I don't have a problem with that, BUT I feel since she wants the master bedroom with the bathroom she should pay a little more. My best friend agrees with me, now if I'm wrong I will apologize and say let's split it, I don't mind. But I don't think I am. The 3rd girl feels that she should get the master because she has the most furniture, which she does but I'm very weird about the bathroom, I don't mind sharing though. She has friends that I'm also cool with, I wouldn't call them my friends because I only see them when I hang out with her. I also feel that her friends should use her bathroom if she does get the master bedroom. We only have to pay rent of course and the light bill but cable and WiFi is something we all want but will split. So once again my question is am I being unfair?
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX  +, writes (4 June 2015):
 I agree with you....I've lived in a couple of student houses whilst i was at uni and usually the people with bigger rooms paid up to £40 more in rent a month than those with tiny rooms...
A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (4 June 2015):
I'd suggest that you just split everything down the middle. I think girl 3 is being reasonable in asking for the master bedroom since you will all be using her living room set, so I'd accept that and not ask her for any more money.
I've lived with several roommates over the years, and the main thing I've learned is that things will never be 100% fair all of the time. However, provided no-one is obviously abusing the situation (for example having a boyfriend unofficially move in without contributing to the household), then making a fuss over it just causes unnecessary aggro and frankly makes you look a bit petty.
As for you wanting her guests having to use get bathroom, yes I think that's unfair. That's like her saying you can bring friends round but they can't sit on her living room set! You are supposed to be SHARING a house, therefore to do so you must actually be willing to share and compromise.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 June 2015):
 I understand what you are saying, she wants the Master and feels entitled because she brings furniture.
SO what? It's HER choice to take the furniture with her and "share" them, it's HER choice to NOT put them in storage. HOW does that make HER more entitled to this bedroom?
Which bathroom HER friends use or your friends use is irrelevant. If one is NOT en suite, but in the "shared area" (that means near living room/kitchen) then THAT is the one the majority will use. THAT also means IF I WERE YOU, I would have a basket with MY beauty products, that I wold LUG back and forth from MY bedroom to the bathroom, same with medications. BUT it ALSO means EVERYONE (that meas ALL 3 of you take turns cleaning the "shared bathroom" - whomever get the master bedroom.. CLEANS her own.
As for should she pay more? Eh, I think that is petty. If there are 3 bedrooms and ONE happen to have a bathroom attached - it's jut PURE luck for whomever GETS it. THAT girl... AFTER ALL - HAS to keep that bath room clean BY herself, AND pitch in with the common area bathroom too. So in a way, SHE still "pays" for this bathroom, by keeping it clean.
One thing I will SUGGEST is that you 3 make a chore list, you talk about FOOD in the fridge/freezer ( For instance I had a roomie who ate all MY food and I ended up buy a small fridge for my room, because I got tired of not having any milk (she'd put the empty carton in the fridge lol) Your Roommate's Personal Possessions - If it's not yours and there's no explicit agreement with the owner of the item that you can use it, touch it, eat it, wear it, consume it, borrow it, or otherwise use it in the way it was intended to be used (or even in a way it wasn't), you can't. That goes for food, tampons, shampoo etc.
I would also suggest that WHOMEVER makes dishes dirty.. WASHES them. Let's say you make dinner for you and a friend (one who doesn't live there) - it would be YOUR job to get those dishes done BEFORE you leave the house - let's say you go clubbing after the dinner... because it takes 20 minutes tops to clean up and EVERYONE should do this, not leave dirty dishes all over the house. (think cockroaches - shudder).
JUST because girl #3 makes less money doesn't mean she should pay less OR more.
Split it in 3. And talk about REMEMBERING to turn of the lights when not in your room etc.
Have a talk about security. That means LOCKING the front door before leaving the house. It may seem like a little thing but some people grew up NEVER locking their front door.
Smoking/no smoking - my advice? AGREE to NOT allow smoking in the apartment. They have friends over who smokes? well, said friends has to go outside. It makes a place STINK.
Music - when you listen to music in your room.. USE head phones.
Guests... YOU all have to agree to how OFTEN guests are allowed. You really don't want the place to end up being a "crash pad" for SEVERAL people who ARE NOT contributing to the expenses, but use up water, electricity and SPACE.
SAME goes with BF's. Let's say one of you have a BF who spends EVERY week-end at the place. Is that fair? He makes messes (we all know MANY guys have a problem NOT peeing on the floor or seat...) yet THE other two girls HAVE to share the clean up? EWWW!
YOU do NOT just have to pay rent/electricity/cable and wi-fi - there are also the Consumables - Decide upfront what items are to be shared, how they will be procured, how that will be paid for. Don't be the asshat that always uses the toilet paper someone else bought but never replaces it or contributes to a fund for whomever likes to go shopping.
Consumables can be: toilet paper, paper towels, trash bags, light bulbs, dish soap, household cleaning products, napkins,edible condiments.
PETS! ALWAYS agree ahead of time to pets/no pets. MY advice? NO pets while in a room-mate situation. My roomie had a little dog and I ended up walking him more than she did, JUST to avoid TURDS!
Laundry: The laundry machine/dryer is not your personal laundry hamper or closet. The last step in that cycle isn't when the buzzer goes off, it's actually removing your wardrobe. So EACH have a basket for clean clothes and one for dirty - let's say you start a load and have to leave the house while it is in the dryer.... Then yo LEAVE the clean basket in the laundry room so IF one of the other girls needs to wash clothes... they can stick it in there instead of the floor.. But GENERALLY don't leave it and expect others to DO this FOR you.
Postal Mail - Don't hide or bother your roommate's mail. If you get their mail PUT it where it should go. You can agree on setting it outside their room, or a general area in the "shared space".
If YOUR name is on the bills (cable/electricity/wi-fi) MAKE SURE when you go collect the money from the other two that you SHOW them the bill so they CAN SEE the total amount. Some people will whine over electricity bill claiming they ONLY use 1 lamp, so why should they pay for the other person who uses a computer, fan, and several lamps?! BUT you all agreed to 1/3 so 1/3 it is!
Illness - Everyone gets sick from time to time. Show a little compassion for your roommate when it happens to them, go on a chicken soup or pharmacy run, whatever. Not only is it the nice thing to do, but you'll probably need a little compassion someday yourself.
Moving out. If you rent month to month - it's easy. EVERYONE has to give 30 days notice. IF you have a lease, it can be more complicated. ALSO when ANY OF YOU move out they HAVE to leave their room they way it looked when they moved in. CLEAN!
Hope that helps a little...
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