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Am I an idiot for even trying to contact or see this person?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2010)
A male Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I was dating this girl for about six months, she was very nice and good to get along with for the first while. After things got a little comfortable whenever i asked how she was doing or how work was it always seemed to have some type of depressing story to go along with her answer. Also I recall her always wanting to include her one friend in all of are activities but was never enthusiastic about including me in any of her own things that she liked to do.

anyways we broke up because it just wasnt working and for some reason i was really heart broken. i tried to make an effort to stay friends quickly after the breakup but she wasnt having it at all. So i had no contact for about 8 weeks and decided to shoot her a txt hoping that everything was going good for her, she replied with "hey everythings good i was going to email you soon actually" Shes a hairdresser so i asked if she wanted to cut my hair, she replied sure and we made an appointment for the following week.

since then ive tried to call her twice to kind of break the ice and talk but she hasnt answered my calls, but right after i call she sends me a text saying shes busy but asks whats up? Just wondering if i could get some insight to the situation? Am I an idiot for even trying to contact or see this person?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010):

I guess I am wondering why you want contact with her again? Do you genuinely regret that you split up? Or do you miss being in a relationship? You said things weren't working between the two of you, which happens. Sometimes two people just aren't right together.

To be honest, it seems to me that she isn't interested in having contact. I may be wrong here, but from what you have said, that is the impression I have. I think she is remaining friendly and polite with you, but doesn't want to get involved again. Staying friends with an ex is often difficult, so I can understand her being distant.

But I know this must be horrible for you, as you would like to talk to her. What exactly do you hope for? Do you want to try again with her? Or just have some friendly contact? I guess you could tell her, and see what she has to say. Maybe she doesn't know how you feel, and she might think about it if you tell her.

But even if she isn't interested, at least you will know where you stand, and can try and move on. If you are finding it difficult to let this woman go, then I think that might be a good thing to do. Talk to her and see how she feels. But do be prepared that you might not get the answer you are hoping for. Good luck. x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010):

The ones who care the most are usually the ones who are most heartbroken afterwards. She was never that serious about you even when you were having good times together.

I can tell by the first paragraph, and it gets worse and worse the more you explain her actions and words. I wouldn't chase after her because she won't even remember you 2 years from now, because she has no interest in seeing you. She just appears to be one of whimsical girls who seem fun, but really don't care about people enough to have a serious relationship with someone decent. Ditch the bitch. She's just a teaser..

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