A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 19 year old boy. I am starting my 2nd year of university, and I know what this means to a lot of people "parties, sex, alcohol etc." But this doesn't concern me. When people are out going crazy Im at home studying. I recently asked a girl (about to turn 21) out and got the answer no because she's actually seing someone (she is a good friend of mine) now I talked to her a few days later about it, she says that I should live a little cause Im a teenager and that's what it's about. I have been told this by a lot of people and I just don't know. Yes going out and having flings and one nighters sounds good to most people, but I just feel like I would prefer a relationship, I honestly feel that I would rather hold hands with a girl and take her somewhere nice instead of taking her to a room and sleeping with her. I know that at the momment the girl Im interested in isn't single and it could be a while until she is, but should I really start acting like a teenager?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy other question was
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/when-i-finally-gathered-the-courage-to-ask.html
A
female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (6 September 2008):
what was your other question?
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A
female
reader, AntieMaria +, writes (5 September 2008):
 YES, YES, you are 'NORMAL'. In these modern and liberated times it is unusual to hear such comments from a teenager but there is nothing at all wrong with your way of thinking. You should not do anything that you don't feel comfortable with just because everyone else is doing it. You are right to not want to have one night stands and wish for a relationship if that is not for you then don't. the girl you asked out maybe a friend but she does not sound right for you. the right person will come along in the meantime enjoy your studdies.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'll be honest I wish I had this kind of responce to my last question.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Be yourself and do what you enjoy doing. Often the people who are partying all the time are not having anything like as much fun as they would like you to think whereas the pleasure that comes from reading and understanding subjects that genuinely interest you in lasts forever.Keep doing what you're doing and you will find a girl who feels just the same way that you do.
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A
female
reader, Belle De Jour +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Of Course Your Normal , Dont worry . Be Yourself , no 1 is forcing you to be someone who you dont want to be .. not everyone is the same so stop worrying xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): look im 17 and i really really dont know whether to even go to uni and i DEFINITELY dont see the appeal of getting completely wasted it really pisses me off the ppl who are like lets just drink all night get smashed sleep with whoever get high NO YOU CONVENTIONAL BORING WASTERS life of the party means PERSONALITY- people who know how to have ACTUAL FUN WHERE YOU'RE FRICKEN AWARE OF HOW NATURALLY HIGH YOU ARE am i a bore SCREW THAT! no i go to the green with a load of mates we just chill have a bit of food a few stellas and we have SO MUCH FUN WE STAY THERE TIME you can have so much fun just with the people youre with and love supershawnas answer you will remember every second which will LAST and make you smile and these memories are so more valuable than a night that's blacked outjust do WHAT YOU WANT TO DO spend your time however you want to go to a friends party and just let loose enjoy yourself if youre not in the mood to work dont people who drink themselves silly for the sake of drinking are all equally moronic just screw them all life goes on and youre trying to do something with it but you must enjoy it-whatever makes you happy :D:D - and i really like the first answer :D
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A
female
reader, Shelljade41  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Just be yourself. If you are content being the way you are keep with it. If there is something in you you would like to change then go ahead and do it. There is nothing wrong with you, on the contrary, you sound like a pretty mature and awesome person!! Don't take on what others say or think. But I would suggest you not to get too caught up with a girl that is seeing someone else...that will only hurt you. You could losen up a bit, go places to meet different people without becoming what you are not. Maybe you could meet some other girl that likes you just the way you are. Believe me, a LOT of women would LOVE to meet someone like you!! LOLBlessings to you!!
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A
female
reader, Lindsay +, writes (5 September 2008):
You sound like my dream man too, just 10 years too young. No, it is completely normal to not want to party. I find the party people to be a little on the shallow side. And really, relationships are more valuable than one night stands.
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A
female
reader, bellaa  +, writes (5 September 2008):
hey .... i think you are doing good by studying at this age if you don t hang out with your friends that doesn t mean that you are not a good teanager but that doesn t mean also that you stay at home all the time try to organize your time between studying and having fun and if you can t than you can hang out with your friends in summer
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A
female
reader, nellynelly1305 +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Please stop worrying!!!! I wish there was more man like you out there! The girl that you choose to be with, will be the luckiest girl ever!!! I'm jealous that it won't be me!!! :-) and I totaly agree with shandygirl. Good luck for your future!! x
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A
female
reader, bellaa +, writes (5 September 2008):
hey.... i think you are acting good studying is very important at this age and if u don t hang out and go to parties that doesn t meen that you are wrong and they are right and you are acting well as a teanager but that doesn t
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (5 September 2008):
No you are normal. I'm 19 as well and starting my secound year of college as well and I dont go to parties. I take on so many classes that I prefer to go to classes come home do home work and curl up in bed with my fiance who I have been with for almost 4 years.My fiance decided to do the partying thing when he was 19 (he's almost 21 now) and he ended up almost ruining our relationship and ended up getting in a car accident because the driver (not him) had been drinking and lastly he got a DUI wich a year and a half later its still messing up his life. He had a great job that he lost because of the DUI and that job would have paid for college and now he still hasn't gone.I'm not saying if you go to a party ever once in a while that it will ruin your life because thats not true. You just seem to be like me. You would rather be at home with that special person then around a bunch of people who just want to party. It sounds like you are just matured out of that age. Which is normal.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (5 September 2008):
 You sound like the MAN OF MY DREAMS! LoL. But you are just too young for me.
There is nothing wrong with how you are. Actually, you are at an age where building your career is important. Keep studying. Don't worry about what other people do or say. In the end, they will be losers, and you will have a great education and job. There is nothing weird about having your own priorities. As far as girls go, you will have the right ones, with quality and depth, coming to you sooner than later.
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (5 September 2008):
 you're talking to the poster partygirl of my year haha at least in my large circle of friends. and parties are so much fun! it isn't about the alcohol, or the one night stands. it is about going out and having a crazy wonderful time!
i don't want hook ups, i want a relationship, too. but i still go out to the themed parties, the kickbacks, the formals.
you have your entire life to sit in and study. you're only 19 once! once we are out of college, it's the hard knock life for us... we need to live it up while we still have the time on our hands and a lack of true responsibility!
so go have some adventures, and make some memories you can laugh at when you tell your grandkids!
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