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Am I a coward or courageous? My alcoholic homeless husband abandoned our marriage but blames things on me

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 August 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 August 2014)
A female United States age , *oxy14 writes:

I live in Minnesota and my husband lives homeless in Boise ID. We have lived apart a total of three years in a marriage of six years due to his drinking. I moved back home to Minnesota two years ago to be near my children Since I moved back I was admitted to a hospital on a pshyc ward for two weeks and then went thru treatment for ninety days. Now I live in a group home. When I moved home my husband made my life a living hell. He stole the title for my car before I left, so I had no way to register my car, which put caused a lot of anxiety for me. He kept promising to send it,but to no avail. There is so much more to tell , but to bet to the point.

Thirteen months ago shortly after I broke communication with my husband, I met a very gentleman who is 29 years sober and does not take it for granted and still attends meetings every week. I was trying to serve divorce papers to my husband, but it was difficult since he was still homeless. This was beginning to affect the relationship between the new man and me. I began to feel guilty for abandoning my husband. So I told the new man I needed to give it one more try. He respected my decision and kept minimal phone contact to see how things were going, for we had become good friends. Well three and one half months of sobriety and my husband is homeless again and drinking. Because I wont talk to him he sends me voice mails calling me a coward for not talking to him. I keep telling myself that I am courageous and better off without him. Truly he has abandoned me for more than four years of our six year marriage. Can I realistically call that a marriage?

View related questions: alcoholic, divorce

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 August 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntThis is no longer a marriage. You are very brave.

My husband is an alcoholic. He's at the "I have a problem" stage but won't even attempt to stop drinking at this point. I wish I wanted to leave. I would.

You can get a duplicate title for your car by contacting the MVA where the car is registered now. (or was) that's not an issue.

As for divorce... send the papers to general delivery in the city where he is.

do not let this man ruin your new life...

congrats to you for being very brave.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014):

You ARE courageous and you ARE better off without him. I think you should give up on whatever he owes you and talk to a lawyer about divorce. Also, I think you should try to set up on your own and become independent again, before getting into a relationship with anyone else.

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