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All of a sudden, my fiance started giving me gifts. Should I feel suspicious or just accept them and not worry?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 October 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 October 2007)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hey.

My fiance rarely got me gifts unless if it would be be an occassion like a birthday, christmas, vday. I told him that it would be nice that hecan just evenn come home with flowers once in a while (so one can even have it on the tablein the living room)and within many years he did it once. He said he's not into the gift giving etc, because it is just materialistic.

Well, for the past few months he has changed especially when he flies out for business trips. When he gets back he brings something along now: like a perfume, crystal earings etc. But I find it hard to accept because he never did that before and so I think that he's buying these things for me because he is guilty (since he never did that in the past). And so, I have a hard time accepting these gift because I feel that he may be guilty for what could have gone on his trip(s). Since his behaious has really changed. I asked him about why these gift all of a sudden now, and he says "why not?".

Should I feel suspicious or just accept the gifts and not worry?

View related questions: christmas, fiance, flowers

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

Maybe the fact that you're getting married helped change him. When he was your boyfriend he didn't want to risk buying you a bunch of things in case you broke up with him and all that money and effort would be for nothing. But now that there is a commitment he feels confident enough to do all of this for you. Unless you have another reason to suspect something I think you should accept these tokens of his affection and respond in kind. Buy him some things to surprise him as well.

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (18 October 2007):

Enjoy the gifts. You have no evidence. He may be guilty you don't get to go.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

You lucky thing! Dont look a gift horse in the mouth was a favourite saying of my mam! Take the gifts and if you still remain suspicious then ask a few subtle questions. If you dont suspect anything wrong then carry on and enjoy the gifts. He probably has realised just what wonderful woman you are and doesnt want to lose you.

take care and enjoy!

xx

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A female reader, Yogichickk United States +, writes (18 October 2007):

Yogichickk agony auntCould be that he finally HEARD you.

Praise him if you want this behavior to continue.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (18 October 2007):

Danielepew agony auntThis surely is a change in behavior, which must have an explanation. It could be that he's feeling guilty, but, the information you give is not enough to give an opinion. I would suggest that you do look carefully at this change, without having second thoughts about why he does this or that. Avoid interpreting things in one sense only.

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (18 October 2007):

hlskitten agony auntHi

Just accept the gifts and not worry. Not yet anyway.

I have a suspicious mind too hehe but its not enough proof to label him trouble just yet.

He will slip up in the future if hes up to no good.

He might just be realising how he took you a bit for granted maybe, or really miss you when away. Or just grown up ey. Thats my 2 peneth worth anyway.

All the best.

C xxxx

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