A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hey,I'm really good mates with this girl, but would like to take things further, but I couldn't work out if she felt the same. Through gradual subtle questioning, she started speaking to me about how her friends were saying that we should be together, but her response to them was that we aren't because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. (She thinks I feel the same). She also said that this happened to her in the past, that she was really good friends with a guy, and they went out and then broke up, and they aren't friends anymore, and this is why she doesn't want to try it with me. I KNOW for a fact that things would be different with me, and whatever happens, I couldn't not have her in my life.Basically, how do I convince her that we should give it a go, after what she has said has happened in the past?Thanks for any help.
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male
reader, guillaume + ♥, writes (1 January 2008):
 HI,
Oh! it's difficult this isn't it? Should you or shouldn't you?
What I suggest would be to try to do some things with her. Things like cinema, museum, etc. but just as friends.
Try not to analyse her and wait for her to make moves. Go slowly and see how YOU feel around her. I wouldn't recommend "making a move" on her like snatching an embrace or holding her close. It may spoil everything! If you spend time with eachother and enjoy things together, she will feel comfortable with you and things may happen naturally.
However, please try not to wait and wait for her....I understand what she means to you from what you say, but please don't put your whole life on hold for a long while.
If things don't move along how you would like, then I would then suggest that after a while,(your decision on how long) you could ask her for a date to satisfy your curiosity.
REMEMBER---this will be a risk and please be prepared for a yes, a no or wait!!
Best wishes to you, it is a difficult one to be in and I myself have had mixed reactions in similar situations.
But, DON'T RUSH THINGS!!
Hope this has been some help to you.
G.
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