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After we had sex I assumed he would not be back!

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2016)
A female India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I met a guy on a dating site. We met up and ended up sleeping together. This was my first time involving myself in something like this. I watched him during the date and he is mature, understanding and well-balanced. I had a feeling that we would end up in bed. He was here on a business trip and went back to his home in another state.I assumed he wouldn't keep in touch. But he started texting me regularly and i was taken aback. And now after a month of hooking up, he is flying to meet me for two whole days. So I am confused! It is the sex that's making him fly to meet me or is it more? We do have erudite conversations, give each other space and joke a lot.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (31 March 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntIt all depends on what you want from him, you thought it was casual but he surprised you. Do you want more than casual? If not well then enjoy the two days and see what happens, if you want more well then hold off on the sex and see if he sticks around. Good luck.

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A female reader, ..icarus101... India +, writes (31 March 2016):

thank you so much...i will update you on how it goes...

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia + , writes (31 March 2016):

femmenoir agony auntHi,

it sounds as though this guy does like you, however, as to why he's returning and what exactly he should want, is still up for question.

It's anybodys guess really.

My personal opinion is that yes, he did like and enjoy the sex with you and it's possible that he is into casual sex, is happy that he was able to hop into bed with you and because you've already been receptive to him sexually, he may assume that you will sleep with him again, at the drop of a hat.

He may, on the other hand, wish to see you again, because he genuinely likes you and wants to see what more dates may lead to. Something more long term perhaps?

I would be more inclined to go with my former thoughts, rather than the latter.

If you really want to see him again and if you really want to find out what his true intentions are, then do not sleep with him, this next time he visits you (unless you too, want casual sex) and see what he does.

This is the best way to see what this man, or any man is made of.

Do not give him what he wants, just because he wants it.

Also and very importantly, do not have "unsafe sex" with this guy, because if he sleeps around (and how could you truly know?), you are placing yourself at great risk of STDs or pregnancy.

My point is, if he's having casual sex with you, he could well be doing it with anybody, possibly more than one partner.

He lives in another state, so you don't see him, you have no idea what he gets up to, in his private life and time.

Now, if he really likes you for you and not for the sex, he'll stick around for the long term and he will eventually tell you how he feels, but if he's simply sleeping with you, for HIS OWN SATISFACTION, then you'll soon know about that too.

I won't say he may be using you, because you too, wanted to sleep with him and you knew that you'd both end up in bed, however, you wouldn't wish to be played for a fool over the long term, nobody would.

You wouldn't wish to be used only for sex either, but again, this is only if you want more than casual.

Good luck!

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