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After two years together I just don't feel the same way. What should I do?

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

well me and my gf have been living together for 2 years no im 20 and shes 18 we live in my mums house. the problem is she loves me more than any thing but i just dont feel the same way wot should i do??

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (30 May 2007):

Yos agony auntIntense love doesn't last for most people. The initial 'rush' you feel early on in a relationship is replaced by a more quiet feelings of connection, appreciation and of feeling comfortable and safe with someone. Do think about whether it is this that has happened to you (2 years is about that time), or whether you really have stopped loving her.

Some people go through life chasing that 'rush' of new love, and as a result miss out on the rewards of longer deeper relationships.

Interestingly, there is a biological reason for this change in love after about 2 years. If two people have been having sex for two years, it follows that if they have no children then there is something wrong. Best course: split up and try again. The problem is, this behavior evolved before we discovered contraception. Now that we have contraception we can end up being in long term sexual relationships without having kids, yet knowing that there's nothing biologically wrong. Unfortunately our emotions don't 'know' this and start to pull us apart anyway. In other words, our biology is telling us to split up because there are no kids, but our minds are telling us that it's fine.

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2007):

love-him agony auntBabe the hardest thing to do.. thats wot uv gotta do.. you have to break it to your gf NICELY tellin her that u just dont feel the same, you want to be friends.. she wont take it well but if you are serious on this decision thn thats the best thing to do.. i hope i helped chick mail me if u wna chat x x x

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