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After two years of trying, I still can't orgasm during sex

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Question - (10 March 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

When me and my boyfriend have sex , it feels like whatever to me . His penis doesn't make me horny it's not that it's small or anything but I just don't see how people stimulate there G spot with it .

We've been trying to make me have an orgasm for almost two years now but nothing. Until I got a vibrator . It works like magic , but tell me why when I feel like I'm going to cum , absolutely nothing comes out ! I get so upset because I felt like I was going to but just nothing happens . I can feel my body trying to release but nothing .

Someone help !

View related questions: g-spot, horny, orgasm, vibrator

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntMost women do NOT squirt. We do NOT (generally) ejaculate. If you and your BF think that female ejaculation = orgasm.. you need to step away from the porn. It's not reality.

As for the G-spot - well the jury is still out whether it ACTUALLY exist. SOME women are VERY sensitive in the area known as the "G-spot" but others are not - some say it's because it' BASICALLY the backside of the clitoris and therefore SOME women get off when the G-spot is manipulated.

Insertion doesn't WORK (as far as getting an orgasm) for MOST women, as there are VERY little nerve ending INSIDE the vagina - and guess why? Because the vagina HAS to stretch to accommodate a 5-12 lbs baby when giving birth - as painful as birth can be.. I would HATE to imagine how HORRIBLE it would be IF we had a larger number of nerve endings than we do.

On the other hand we have en immense number of nerve ending in our clitoris (WAY more than men do in their penis) which is why the buzz buzz of a vibrator can get you of compared to the "in/out" of the vagina.

There are MANY positions that can HELP stimulate the clitoris and thus get you off WHILE having your partners penis in you, as the penis itself really isn't the thing that gets you off.

SO, best thing you can do is USE your fingers/hand and figure out how your body ticks - don't use the vibrator for this, that is the "easy" way out. Learn how to manually stimulate YOURSELF then show it to your BF or explain how you LIKE/ENJOY getting touched.

TRY different positions where the clitoris is stimulated wither by his fingers/hand or yours or by rubbing it on HIS body. Or if he (and you) are game for him to use his mouth/tongue.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (10 March 2015):

chigirl agony auntWomen aren't men... we don't produce sperm, and we don't ejaculate. So why are you worried when nothing comes out? You're not supposed to squirt like a man!

If you've tried to get to an orgasm with your boyfriend, may I ask why he hasn't given you oral, as that is the ONLY way to reach orgasm for about 98% of all women?

That's why your vibrator works, clitoral stimulation. The penis doesn't do it for women, he needs to use his tongue and hands.

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